Dazai Osamu x Reader: The beauty of life

Dazai

"AAAAAAAA"

Yosano: She's so cute!
Kunikida: It's nice meeting you Y/n.
Kenji: It's so amazing that we are gonna have a member!
Y/n: *breaths heavily*
Ranpo: Stay away from my snacks!
Atsushi: It's good to meet you Y/n! My name is Atsushi by the way.
Tanizaki: A new member!!!
Y/n: *breaths heavily*
Fukuzawa: Everyone, stop!

Everyone stops and looks at Fukuzawa

Fukuzawa: Go back to your jobs!

"Ryokai"

Everyone stops aweing around you and went back at their desks.

Fukuzawa: What happened? You okay?
Y/n: *slightly nodded yes*
Fukuzawa: Hm, ah, okay then let me lead you to your office.
Y/n: *nods*

(...)

Fukuzawa: Here we are. You can have access to anything you want and it's near my office, in case something happens, okay?
Y/n: *nods*
Fukuzawa: Okay, now start working, we have an important case going on, so get to work. I'll be in my office if you need anything.
Y/n: *nods*
Fukuzawa: Good.

Fukuzawa said and walked in his office.

(...)

You hesitantly walked towards Kunikida's office to deliver him some documents that needed his signature but before you reach that someone else got there first.

Atsushi: Kunikida-san, where's Dazai-san?
Kunikida: Why you ask?
Atsushi: I need him to sign some papers.
Kunikida: Ah then, give them to me, he's committing suicide right now.
Atsushi: Oh, I see... Well, here then.
Kunikida: I'll call you when I'll have them ready so you can get them to Mr. Fukuzawa.
Atsushi: Okay Kunikida-san.

Atsushi said and walked away. You though, you were still standing were you stopped, shook of what you just heard. Someone, who was a member of this agency was trying to kill himself and no one ever cared about it! You were furious at this. You didn't know the guy but you valued all human lifes, that's one of the reasons you hated working for the Mafia. You wanted to talk, to scream about that but when you found the courage, a loud bang echoed throughout the room.

Dazai: Ah!...
Atsushi: Dazai-san!
Kunikida: Didn't the attempt worked out?
Dazai: Unfortunately not, ah... And was so close, I could feel it!
Kunikida: What a pity.
Dazai: Truly!
Kunikida: Tch, stop messing around now, you have work.
Dazai: What!? Aw, why!?
Kunikida: Take those, read them and sign them if you must.
Dazai: Hai, hai.

The strange man, who you identified as that Dazai guy, said and took the papers that Kunikida held, high, in his hands. You kept standing there, bumpfounded at you just witnessed but soon you had to move because Kunikida asked for that files you had.

(...)

Kunikida: Ranpo!
Ranpo: Do I have to!?

Kunikida glared at Ranpo and soon he got the message.

Ranpo: Okay, okay, but then you'll have to buy me a huge bag of chips.
Kunikida: Wha-

Kunikida tried to say and Ranpo was already out of the boor but soonhw came back in.

Ranpo: How can I go there?...
Kunikida: Ah, Atsushi, Y/n, please go with him.
Atsushi: Okay sir!
Y/n: *slightly nods*

(...)

Atsushi: Here we are...
Rampo: Ah, good. Now let's solve this case *smirks*

After that, you Atsushi and Ranpo walked up to where the dead body was laying and the police officers where gathered.

Ranpo: Hello everyone!
Policeman: Who are you?
Ranpo: I'm the greatest detective ever!
Policeman: Huh?
Ranpo: I'm here to solve this case, so now stand back and watch.
Policeman: Huh? Thi-
Officer: We caught something from the river!
Policeman: Is something useful?
Officer: Well, I don't know...

The officer said and pointed from his back. To everyone's surprise, it was Dazai.

Atsushi: Dazai-san! What were you doing in the river!?
Dazai: What do you think I was doing?

Dazai said and shot him a glare.

Atsushi: You were trying to kill yourself again...
Dazai: Yeah, but right when then critical moment came, they fished me out of the river.
Atsushi: Hehe, what can I say, I'm sorry Dazai-san...
Dazai: Well...

Dazai said and got off the net.

Dazai: What do we have here?
Ranpo: The murder of young police woman.
Dazai: What!!!???... What a tragedy to die in such a young age! If she really wanted to die she could at commit double suicide with me! An extraordinary detective will avenge you!
Policeman: Em, what happened to him?...
Atsushi: Well, he is always like that...
Ranpo: Anyway, where were we... Ah yeah! I was going to solve the case.
Policeman: Tch, you can't do that mister detective. We have no evidence or clues.
Ranpo: I don't need that~
Policeman: Oh really~?
Ranpo: Yeah~
Policeman: Oh, I'd love to see you try~
Ranpo: You, what's you your name?
Sugimura: I am Sergeant Sugimura.
Ranpo: I can solve this case in 60 seconds. If you are as good as you say, you can do the same.
Sugimura: H-huh!?...
Ranpo: Time starts now!
Sugimura: W-well, I believe that in the way she was killed, it's a job of Port Mafia-
Dazai: It's not the Mafia.
Sugimura: Huh!?
Dazai: So this M.O. is similar to the Mafia's, but not the same. Which means...
Sugimura: Shooting two extra rounds to make it seam like that...
Dazai: At the Mafia, they hit their face to the pavement and shoot them 3 times.
Policeman: Ahhh, enough, you been going on about great detectives but you discovered nothing yet! You must be reading many mystery novels!
Ranpo: The murder is him, you sidekick.
Policeman: Huh, what are saying, you can't just accuse him out of the blue!
Ranpo: He did it.
Policeman: You bustard can't accuse him without proof!!!
Dazai: Oi, Mr. Police, Rampo-san is always like this-
Ranpo: I'll saw you right now that I'm right. Ability, Ultra Deduction!
Dazai: Watch closely you two.
Ranpo: I see...
Policeman: "I see" my ass.
Ranpo: Sugimura, lent me your gun, will you?
Sugimura: Huh!?... You've got to be kidding me!
Ranpo: You don't have to be afraid if you have nothing to hide~
Policeman: Sugimura, show him!
Sugimura: ...
Policeman: Oi, Sugimura!
Ranpo: He can't cause you'll see that three bullets are missing. You'd know if he used them right?
Policeman: Yeah.
Ranpo: Did you had an incident that Sugimura used his gun?
Policeman: No...
Ranpo: Then those 3 bullets were used illegally and for her murder.
Policeman: Huh, Sugimura!!!
Sugimura: ...
Ranpo: He was threatened by the Mafia to make her stop the research but wouldn't stop. One day, at an old Mafia storage room, he tried to warn her that it was dangerous to keep that research up but again she wouldn't stop. He caught her and suddenly the gun failed and fired. To cover that up, he shoot her two more to make it look like it was Mafia's work but he didn't know what Dazai said. That's a brief explanation of what happened.

Then, Sugimura pulls out his gun and points it to Ranpo. But you were able to see before him and marched towards and pinned him on ground taking his gun away.

Atsushi: Huh!?
Dazai: Y/n-san?
Y/n: He was going to shoot Rampo-san...

You said in a low voice.

Atsushi: H-how did you-
Sugimura: I didn't want to kill her! I loved her!!!

Sugimura cried.

Policeman: Please, take him...

(...)

After everybody was done with affidavits, you all headed out so they could go back to the Agency.

Policeman: Um, I must thank you for your work detective.
Ranpo: No worries! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to my large bag of chips.
Policeman: Oh, hehe, okay...
And after that, you all started walking back, towards the Agency.

(...)

Atsushi: Wow, Rampo-san is amazing!...
Dazai: Mhm, I agree.
Atsushi: He figured everything with his ability, awesome!...
Dazai: He has not an ability.
Atsushi: Huh!?
Dazai: As you know, my ability is to erase others people abilities. While he was solving the case I touched some of his hair but he didn't stop.
Atsushi: What!? And he did that all with his just his  brain!?
Dazai: Yeah, isn't that scary?~
Ranpo: Oi, Atsushi-kun! Hurry up to get back! I want to eat my chips!
Atsushi: You can say...