destined (max verstappen)

forty two

I don't know if I'm delusional, well no, super delusional but I felt all the eyes of the people in the room turn to face me, like I was some sort of unicorn that had just galloped into the awards evening, "Max nodded and waited for the clapping to stop for a moment, "I'd like to add something else.."

What do they all know that I don't? I turned to look at Daniel who was smiling broadly at me, but that was just typical, "Olivia," Max paused "I'm going to do something crazy, and if you don't like it, then you never have to see me again, okay?"

oh my god, kill me right now.

The directors of the event placed a light on me so that the people watching from home could see me clearly within the crowd of guests, max looked directly at me with the microphone to his lips, "Oh god." I mumbled, holding my face in my hands until Christian told me to stand up, whatever the hell this was he was in on it.

My heart was going crazy in my chest, even more so when he gently crouched down on one knee in the middle of the fia awards event, centre stage, "No he's not serious is he?" I asked Christian who simply shushed me.

Max coughed, clearing his throat before starting, staring into my eyes the entire time, "Marry me. Let's spend our nights eating cereal on the floor when there is a perfectly good table behind us. Marry me. We can go to the movie theatre and sit in the back row just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time. Marry me. We'll paint the rooms of our house and get more paint on us than the walls. Marry me. We can hold hands at parties that we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bath tub together. Marry me Olivia , slow dance with me in our bedroom with an unmade bed and candles on the nightstand. We can have a winter wedding, In Australia with all of your family and the damn purple flowers. Let me love you forever liv."

He knows me better than I know myself. 

He knows me better than Adam ever did.

My hands were shaking an unbelievable amount, I didn't think I could even stand without my knees giving out, "Olivia Marina Ricciardo, will you marry me?" He finally asked, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"I don't do very well with marriage max." I replied quietly, so quiet that the host of the ceremony ran over to me with a microphone so that the world could hear my response loud and proud.

We've only been together for a few months, they were the best months of my life of course but what Jos had said kept ringing in my ears, he does so much more for me than I do for him. This isn't an even relationship, I replied with the only thing I could think of "Why didn't you tell me when it was your birthday?"

The room remained silent but some confused glances shot around the room, "You were busy." He told me, I could tell he was getting scared that I would say no, the look on his face told me everything.

"I would've celebrated with you, you know that right? I didn't realise at all. I didn't know." I made sure he was aware to which he nodded solemnly, smiling still.

"I know that Olivia, which is why I want you to be my wife." He reminded me of the main topic of discussion, I have a habit of doing that, avoiding things.

I sighed, "Your dad he- 

"Liv," Daniel whispered "Either say yes or put this guy out of his misery, come on man." The reminder I was airing out dirty laundry on live television came to me quickly, oh god.

i am onlg just out of a marriage.

we haven't been together that long.

Adeline's mad at me

Kika is mad at me

This is too much

"Max, we can't, I'm sorry but no." I quickly rambled, the right words spewing out my mouth, I just didn't know if I meant them. The relief on his face was something else entirely, a sad expression  graced his face as he walked (ran) down to see me. He didn't expect that.

He was close to me seconds later, the crowd roaring at us now, shouting occurring at my response as abuse was hurled, cameras flashing abusively at us, "We need to talk." I whispered to his ear, which he curtly nodded grabbing my hand and walking us both out of the event.

"Oh- I didn't mean now." I sniffled as he took us past every person trying to take photos, the event was nowhere near over. But I think he knew why we needed this discussion.

"You don't love me do you?" He asked quickly, the words rushing out. I think he knew that based off the fact I didn't have an immediate response, much like adams proposal which he had front row seats too.

"No it's not that-

My lack of response assured him that he was right, "Well," he swallowed his eyes a little red "I guess I appreciate that."

I sighed, running my hands through my hair gently, "Max look it's not you-

"You know liv, anything that bothers you matters to me, and I want to hear about it," he said from his position in front of me "Nothing about your mind is boring or doesn't interest me. But I can't do this right now, you understand?"

"Yeah," I felt myself nod and perhaps mutter another quiet, "Yeah okay." My heart drummed too loudly in my ears to know.

Max continued "If you want to talk about whatever happened, then we'll do that some other time," his hands fell down to my shoulders with a tenderness that disarmed me. Then, he brushed my hair to the side, his fingers travelling to my ends "And if you don't, then we simply won't. But I'll miss you."

a life without max would be a sad one

He nodded, turning around on his heels and walking out of the celebration hall completely, I could only imagine what people would say when I returned into the ceremony alone. So I didn't, I did exactly what I do when I'm scared, I flew straight back out to Australia.