dragonrompa V3 chatfic wtf?! *dies of cringe*

Why is Ryoma Short?

Kowokichi: so guys

Kowokichi: why do you think Ryoma is so short?

Miuwu: maybe his mom fell down a flight of stairs while she was pregnant with him looooool

Kiyowo: I am positive that pregnancy does not work like that, Miu.

Miuwu: pfffffft like you would know!

Himikowo: maybe his bloodline was cursed! cursed to be short for all eternity!

Tenkowo: yeah, his father must have angered a powerful witch like Himiko!

Kaewede: guys, is this really our business to be talking about? Ryoma's our friend, why should we care what his height is?

Kowokichi: oh no, I don't care, I just wanna know why

Gowonta: Gonta doesn't care either! Gonta loves Ryoma anyway!

Gowonta: Gonta loves holding him in his arms at night when Ryoma has bad dreams, it makes both of us so happy <3

Kowokichi: *BIG BARF*

Kaitowo: maybe his growth was stunted?

Makiwi: why don't you just do some research

Kowokichi: because that's not fun >:(

Kiibowo: hello everyone! What are we all discussing?

Miuwu: we're talkin about why Hoshit is so short

Kiibowo: perhaps it is a genetic condition?

Rantarowo: @Ryowoma why are you short?

Kowokichi: RANTAROOOOOOO

Ryowoma: is this why my phone has been blowing up while I was trying to play cookie run?

Kowokichi: of course not! We would never mettle in your personal life :)))

Ryowoma: well let's just get whatever it is over with, there's only a couple days left on this event.

Kowokichi: so what is it Ryoma? Were you cursed? Did your mom fall down the stairs? Stunted growth?

Ryowoma: the answer is actually pretty underwhelming.

Ryowoma: I have dwarfism

Kowokichi: dwarfism??? Aw hell nah, next you'll be telling me your parents were elves or smthn

Kowokichi: diggy diggy hole ass mf

Kiyowo: Kokichi, dwarfism is a real genetic condition.

Kowokichi: liar liar pants on fire

Shuwuichi: Kokichi, if you just looked it up, you'd see that it's a genetic condition that plenty of people have.

Kowokichi: don't take me for a fool, Saihara-chan! I'm not as stupid as you think!

Rantarowo: apparently you are

Kiibowo: Blinkapedia.com/dwarfism

Kowokichi: so wait. You're telling me that nothing happened to Ryoma? He's literally just a midget? How boring!

Ryowoma: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Anyway bye bitches, and sweetheart.

Gowonta: bye Ryoma! I love you!

Ryowoma: love you to honeybee

Kowokichi: EWWWWW GET A ROOM *BARF*