Dear Carlisle

Diary - 6th August, 1968

6th August, 1968

Dear Carlisle,

Did you know about the circumstances of my turning? I remember telling you who turned me and when, but nothing more. It's strange, I thought I knew it better than anyone else but it turns out my beliefs about it were incorrect. 

It wasn't Aro who bit me, but Caius. I always assumed it was Aro, but I was proven wrong today. It's become apparent that just because I saw him, it never meant he bit me. I'd always wondered how I'd been bitten on the back of my neck but I saw Aro in front of me. I felt so stupid after being told it never was Aro. I had tried to challenge them, which I know I should never have done, though I am glad to have this information given to me. 

I approached them, and asked what my purpose of being was with them, and said, "You turned me, what do you want with me?" And he simply responded with "I didn't." Then Caius joined the conversation and explained that it was him who had turned me by mistake. It was only when I unintentionally used my ability against them that they saw my use. I am the first of the three cases where a law has been broken and not punished. 

But this definitely explains how cruel he is to me, and the look of pride he has when I use my ability against others for his gain. I am his greatest accomplishment and greatest gift to the coven he is part of. If I hadn't told them to stay back after being turned, I would have been another burning corpse in the village. I asked why they did that to my people, and the answer infuriated me to no end. According to them, they needed to feed, and so an entire village had to be killed. They said I should be grateful for what they have given me and the time I've had on this Earth. I didn't grace them with a response and decided the silence gave them a better answer than I could even come up with. 

Caius got great entertainment from it and then called me his child. I told him, "I am nothing to you, you are nothing to me." He chuckled in response, calling me a silly child as if I truly was ten. Then he had to add that I would understand when I am older as if I would age a single minute in the rest of my time. 

Five vampires have died today. Three of them had my influence. Each memory of it disgusts me. No matter how many times I see it, I will forever flinch at the sight of death. Sometimes I close my eyes, in hopes they might see and know that it was not what I wanted. 

Your

Edith