𝐕𝐄𝐗𝐄𝐃 ❷

𝟓𝟕. ✭ 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 ✭

"You know how guilty I feel doing something like this while Malyssa is where she is." I admit to Denver after he'd ravished my mouth against one of the guest bedroom doors. "I can't even sleep in our bedroom without her. Let alone do this without her. It hurts too much." Not to mention my carefully calculated control has flown right out the window.

This pain though, it reminds me of a very specific brand of pain. One like when she'd left me all alone on our bedroom floor in abandonment. It's as if someone cut a limb from my body or ripped out an organ I needed to function properly.

Knowing she's having God knows what done to her makes my stomach roll. It also makes me pissed at her for not telling me or Denver before going off on her own once again. It's typical Malyssa fashion to think she can do everything on her own, like she doesn't need anyone. I will not be okay until I know that she's okay.

"We're leaving in a little more than two hours and we know what happened last time; a slaughter. I will not be marching to what could potentially be my death without having a proper orgasm prior. So get your fine ass over here." The last bit a throaty lustful command and how I wish I could comply.

"You have a hand." I wave towards it. "Have all the orgasms you want." His eyes narrow in disbelief. I feign to not notice. "I should probably go make sure we're good and packed. That we already have everything we—"

"We spent the entire fucking day doing that and the days before that as well. It's all we've been doing, Lucas," the words a deep growl.

Lucas. Not Luke. I know exactly where this is going.

"Listen, we've gone over everything." He continues, "multiple times. Over and over again. You have micromanaged the absolute fuck out of every possible detail. Your control-freak nature outside of the bedroom has dominated our lives to the point of having no time to ourselves. No time to be with each other."

I have to swallow the uncomfortable lump in my throat at his blunt honesty before stating, "I know I can be a lot sometimes, Den. Just like I know the not having sex bit has been a point of contention between us over the last little bit but—"

"But nothing!" He throws his hands up in frustration. "You have needs and I have needs. We both have needs. You need to control every fucking thing outside of the bedroom and that's fine. I understand but I need this type of connection right now."

A physical connection. With me.

When he goes to reach for what I know he's going to reach for, the collar around my neck, I quickly snatch his hand while simultaneously moving out of his reach. Confusion automatically etches into his handsome features.

"You would pull away... from me?" He tears his hand out of my grip before looking me up and down incredulously. "You... are you serious right now?" His tone full of shock and disbelief, but most of all— hurt.

"I cannot give you what you want at this moment. I cannot be what you want me to be right now, Den."

"What the fuck do I want you to be other than my fucking husband?" The words are shouted angrily. "Ask me when I have ever asked you to be something you're not— never. I have never pushed you to be anything other than yourself."

"You know what you want from me right now." I absently caress the metal around my neck which brings his attention to it. "I am telling you I can't be that currently. Not with my mental state the way that it is."

"Then we can just have vanilla sex. Plain old two dudes. Two dicks. Then call it a day."

"I don't think you understand. I am feeling completely out of control mentally because of our current circumstances. Therefore I need to feel completely in control physically."