𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐃

37 | exile

Evelyn

Present

I've been trying to spend as less time as possible at the apartment. The days go by in a haze. Sometimes it gives me a sense of relief, knowing that time never stands still, but the more you ignore it and the more you get absorbed in other insignificant routines, the more unaware of it you become. Time flying away so fast is like strangers walking past you on a busy street and the scary thing is that you barely notice them passing. It's impossible to remember each and every face you encounter just how it's impossible to remember each and every leaf on a tree. Moments easily turn to minutes and seconds that fade from memory.

Unless there's something that makes this moment more consequential.

Like the way Yoongi yelled at me that night.

Lie to your face? The same way you've been lying to me?

I find incomprehensible how fast we've lost sight of the progress we made. One moment he's cleaning my wounds in the living room and then he rubs salt on them. I guess that deep down he will always hate me for all the things I did to him and honestly, while I want to keep on hating him and letting my anger gnaw at me, I can't ignore the cold hard truth here.

I did lie to him by keeping the truth from him. I haven't told him the real way I'm making money and I haven't told him the reason why. I haven't told him I'm using my own mother as she prostitutes herself, since she's been fine doing it all these years. I haven't told him that I'm not okay with it and that the reason I'm doing it is because of some sick law of equivalent exchange. I didn't tell Yoongi that I hate my own mother for letting her boyfriend abuse me back in high school. He doesn't know that I don't have one penny to my name or that I gave a large sum of money to my uncle in order to rid myself of all the debt I owe; just how I never told him that my father is sick with a respiratory disease that soon enough developed into lung cancer and that he'll die if he doesn't get surgery.

But I did tell him that I never stole money from anyone.

That's the only truth that reached his ears.

The shitty thing about blame is that it's a double edged sword. I can just go on about my day, rushing from one interview to another and curse Yoongi's name in my mind, or I could go key his car (even though I've never seen him drive), but in the end of the day I'd still be angry and miserable. Additionally, it doesn't change the fact that I've wronged him.

However, it doesn't make sense how Yoongi just attacked me like that out of literal nowhere. There he is caressing my cheek and telling me how good I look warming his damn bed and then he's accusing me for being a thief. For being a fucking gold digger all because I made one goddamn mistake.

"Excuse me, Miss Price?" Says a voice all of a sudden and just like that I snap back to reality. I'm back in the interviewing room and I tense up when I realize that I got sidetracked just by thinking about Yoongi.

"Sorry?"

"Are you alright?" The manager asks me. "Would you like some water?"

"I'm okay, thank you." I tell him, as I try my best to smile. "Could you repeat the question please?"

"Of course, I was just asking you if you're interviewing with other companies." He says with a genuine smile. "And if you still have time we would like to give you a tour of our company."

I pause, thinking to myself how exactly to answer to his question without looking insanely desperate for this job and simultaneously interested enough for this junior architect position. I can't exactly tell him that I've applied to over a hundred places and I've let it up to fate to decide my future. I need him to see how enthusiastic and committed I am and portray myself as the perfect candidate.