Yes...it does...why?..
Sometimes I even can't feel what is happiness..
I have to smile with an honest one but no..its all fake.
Everytime I got beaten by my family..its just feel hurt..all the pain just take over my body..I even can't feel who is me..
Even tho my eyes got puffy by crying.. but it's more hurt if you cry in silence..
I had no privacy...all I can do is write on this app also can be use as my secret diary..
I lock this apps and I keep this app private..I hide this apps at the end of the folder and make it as my study app..
I don't know why do I have to live here..
In this earth..in this world..
My head goes blank..nothing can I do for living..
I can't even understand who am I
who I am
And what am I..
They said I'm useless..well I'm just making myself worthless..
I follow their command..I follow their step.
But guess what..they never believe me..
I hope someone can take me to be adopt.
I had an important event tomorrow to attend..but I got beaten a night before the program.. well I have to cover my bruishes and etc..expecially my hand..its..swollen..
I guess..I got badly hurt before that...my arms and body..got beaten until the purplish wounded..well it's bleeding..haha..still I cover it all..
What am I gonna do during my 17th life..I'm not a normal teenager..
I try to follow my own way..but I guess..it will never be happen..
When I'm writing this. one of my finger..got injured..they beat me..my father did the most..
I'm going to face a really really big important exam this year...well I'm going to graduate from highschool soon..
But they would never understand about me..
I want to be a successful person..
And here I am..writing this shitty diary..
Sorry for my grammar..I'm not a native for this language..
I was raised by speaking many language..and my country have so many sub unit of language..so many of them..I can speak all of them..but not that fluent..
My eyes..ah..so puffy..hehe..
Shaking my leg..like there's something will happen to me..overthingking..
Can I die?..
I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THAT..
I THINK MY MENTAL HEALTH ARE REALLY BAD..HAHA..IM WRITING THIS WHILE IM CRYING AND LAUGHING SILENCELY..
but end up I'm stressing over again..
