Does It Ever Get Better? (On Hold. Again. I'm Sorry)

"Goodbye Anthony." - Chapter 18

Gavin's p.o.v.

My vision was blurry. All I heard was loud ringing and I think sirens? The blurriness of bright red and blue lights from the distance came closer. I raised my head and felt such a heavy weight. My head was pounding and I saw deep red liquid all over along with shattered glass. All I could hear were sirens getting closer and louder along with a loud ringing in my ears. I looked around as my vision came back slowly. The windshield was shattered and my door was caved in close to me. I looked over at Anthony. His head leaned on the steering wheel. The airbag never went off. The same deep red substance was dripping from his mouth and head. It then hit me, we crashed. I shook Anthony, trying to get him to wake up, but to no avail. I pushed him against the back of the seat, only to see a sharp piece of glass impaled a bit below his heart. Tears formed fast and didn't hesitate to escape my eyes, staining my cheeks in the process. I mouthed the words, Oh, my God, seeing as my voice didn't cooperate. The driver-side door opened and broke off the hinges. A deep voice asked me, "Son, are you okay?" He was tall, dark, and bald. I couldn't speak. I just kept looking at Anthony's unconscious body, covered in blood with my mouth hung open in shock. The man motioned his hand signaling people to come over. Two paramedics came over and moved Anthony on a gurney and rolled him away. I think it was all just too much shock because at this point, I would have chased after him, but instead, I just sat there. The tears continued their job in staining my cheeks. Too many emotions washed over me. "Son, you have to come out." The man said. Still, I didn't move a muscle. The man snapped his fingers about six times before I snapped out of it.

I crawled over and got out of the car with help from the officer and the first thing I did was ask, "Where's Anthony?"

"Who?" The man said.

"The guy I was with! My brother!" I snapped as my voice quivered.

"Oh. He's over there." He answered and pointed to the paramedics lifting the gurney onto the ambulance. The doors shut soon after. I started running to the ambulance, but the closer I got the further they got. I felt like the world was caving in on me. At some point I ended up sitting in the back of an ambulance with my legs dangling over the back without memory of that happening. Some people were cleaning up my face and they gave me a butterfly stitch on the open cut on my head. The dim daylight got darker soon making it night and what seemed like minutes was really hours. Nothing made sense anymore. I couldn't remember most of what had happened, but then again, I don't think I was thinking. There were people crowded around, gasping, asking questions. I at some point ended up sitting on the sidewalk, hugging my knees, with my head down, looking up here and there. Two tow trucks came and towed both vehicles away. I saw a girl sitting on the back of an ambulance with a blanket around her, shaking like a leaf, and bringing her hand near her mouth to take some puffs of the cigarette she had. This was like a never-ending nightmare. Gavin wake up, wake up, come on, wake up! I kept saying, pounding my head, pinching myself, anything to get me to wake up, but nothing. I wasn't sure if I was crying, or not anymore. I felt numb but my cheeks felt wet. The wind picked up, but I didn't bother doing anything about it.

"Gavin?" A voice called.

I lifted my head to see a familiar police officer walking toward me. "Hey, C-Chad." I stuttered out, trying to hold the tears in as best as I could.

"Let's get you home." Chad said.

"No! I w-want to see my br-brother!" I stuttered.

"You can see him tomorrow. If you go now they won't let you see him and you need your parents to go with you." He explained. I put my head back down and let my tears fall mercilessly. Again, I had no memory, but Chad had stood me up and walked me to his car.