Everything is Tickety-Boo (Mostly)

To Heaven, Hell, and The World

"Ah! Aziraphale!" Gabriel's voice echoed behind Crowley, and he resisted the urge to growl as the Supreme Archangel's hand gripped his shoulder as he walked by. The pain of cords cutting into his wrists was nothing compared to the betrayal he felt on Aziraphale's behalf. Of course, he'd known this was coming, but it still made him angry.

"So glad you could join us!" Gabriel continued, taking a stance in front of him.

"You could have just sent a message," Crowley stated, doing his best to keep his tone prim and proper like Aziraphale's, "I mean, a kidnapping? In broad daylight..."

"Call it what it was, an extraordinary rendition," Gabriel replied, shrugging. Then, to the other angels, "Now! Have we heard from our new associate?"

"He's on his way," Replied an archangel whose name Crowley couldn't feel assed to try to remember.

"He's on his way," Gabriel echoed, shaking his fists in what Crowley assumed to be excitement, but he wasn't quite sure, "I think you're going to like this."

Doubtful, Crowley snapped.

"I really do. And I bet you didn't see this one coming."

Definitely did.

Crowley raised Aziraphale's eyebrows in a mock "impress me" form. He wasn't amused by how lightly Gabriel was treating this, but trying his best to contain it.

"...and the murder of a fellow demon," Hastur concluded, finishing his list of evidence against Crowley, "A crime I saw with my own eyes."

Aziraphale was trying his best to stay calm and collected, but he was finding it harder as the hour went on. He was surrounded by demons and he was so fearful that they'd be able to sniff out that it was a renegade angel, not a renegade demon, in their midst.

He worried the same for Crowley.

"Creatures of Hell!" Called Beelzebub after they took a moment to process the evidence, "You have heard the evidence against the Demon known as Crowley. What is your verdict?"

Aziraphale couldn't help glancing behind him, and when he saw the horde behind the glass, he wished he hadn't.

"GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!" Cried the horde, making Aziraphale shudder inwardly.

"Do you have anything to say before we take our vengeance on you?" Beelzebub asked, clearly disgusted with Crowley to their core. Apparently betrayal towards Heaven's greatest betrayers was an action even said betrayers couldn't stomach.

Aziraphale paused, trying to gather his thoughts to patch together a Crowley-like answer,

"What's it to be?" He asked, shrugging, "An eternity in the deepest pit?"

There was a small pause where Aziraphale had a moment to wonder if he and Crowley had, perhaps, misread the prophecy and a different punishment in order. Not the one they'd expected.

"No, we're going to do something even worse," Hastur chimed in, unaware that he'd settled Aziraphale's fears, "Let the punishment fit the crime."

The elevator dinged somewhere down the hallway.

Aziraphale watched as Archangel Micheal made their way down the dingy hall. He felt a small glimmer of satisfaction seeing their discomfort. Even still, he watched with a smaller glimmer of worry, as he expected to be outed at any moment.

"The Archangel Micheal. That's-" Aziraphale stammered, "-unlikely."

"Cooperation with our old enemies," Dagon piped up, looking absolutely thrilled to see the angel so uncomfortable.