Just the way you are- Leah Williamson

look at me

Leahs POV
I'm really mad at Lia.
She had no right to say such a thing.
And I'm going to tell her the truth now.
It's kind of sweet that Jacob cares so much about Elena. At least one of us can do it.
I closed the door behind us.
Leah: "Okay, listen Lia-"
She kissed me. This woman is crazy bro.
Leah:,,Lia! Let me finish"
Leah: "I have no feelings for you and we're not together. To be honest, I didn't even want you here today. You're a great friend but I don't want anything from you."
Lia: "I thought you had feelings too"
Leah: "You never asked me that"
Lia:,,.........so we're nothing"
Leah: "No, absolutely not, 0.00000000%"
Lia: "But we kissed...twice even"
Leah: "We didn't kiss, you kissed me even though you knew I was with Elena"
Lia: "Yes, but you were unhappy"
Leah: "No...No, I was the happiest woman in the world to be honest"
Lia: "Elena doesn't deserve you"
Leah: "No...I don't deserve her......I hope everything is sorted out please go"
Leah: "Oh no and please separate your private life from football Lia, as soon as we are on the pitch we are one big family Okay"
She just walked out.

Elena's pov
Lia stormed out of Leah's room.
Lia: "bye"
Elena: "bye..."
I'm not proud of it at all, but I relapsed today.
I drank again for the first time today.
And the funniest thing was...that I was so disappointed with myself, that I drank so much that I couldn't feel it anymore.
Leah came out.
I lay with my head on the table.
And covered up the whiskey I drank.
I didn't want her to see it.
She went to the fridge.
Leah: "Are you okay?"
Elena: "mmh"
fuck, that's noticeable.
Leah: "Elena please talk to me"
Elena: "Good as fine wine"
I had to laugh.
Elena: "That one was good man"
Leah: "What did they put in your food, God"
Elena: "I don't know, I haven't eaten anything"
Leah: "What?"
Elena: "Somehow I'm not hungry anymore, I don't know why."

Leah's POV
Something was strange. Different.
I looked at her hand.
I thought I made a mistake.
Leah: "What are you drinking?"
Elena: "Iced tea"
Leah:,,Iced tea? Peach or lemon?"
Elena: "Lemon for sure"
Leah: "Lemon is yellow idiot"
I went to her and took the glass from her hand.
I take a sip.
Leah: "Since when?"
she shook her shoulders
Leah: "What the hell has gotten into you Elena, you promised me back then"
Elena: "Then we've both broken our promises I guess"
I said laughing
Leah: "When have I ever broken a promise?"
Elena:,,mmh how about: Never break eachother's hearts....I'm not proud of it. If I wasn't completely drunk I would have said that : I have a heart of stone and that I don't feel anything like that, but god it felt like my meaning in life was being taken away from me."
She said and stood up
Elena: "And you know what was the funniest thing was, that I was used to being disappointed from you because it always ends like that. I always thought that it was my fault that we always Break up. It was always yours, either you were too jealous or you accidentally kissed someone but hey congratulations to me, I won the game of 'who loves more'."
I was in tears, she patted me on the shoulder and took her glass of whiskey from my hand.
She drank it empty and filled herself a new one.
Elena: "Stop crying, even when I'm drunk I can't stand it because damn, I really love you. Honestly, it's crazy."
Leah: "Stop it"
Elena: "Okay, pay attention Leah, I love you with every inch of my body but we are not good for each other. I mean...look at me. I'm no different than them-"
She means her parents.
Leah: "Elena,you are so stop now"
Elena: "No, I'm not. Blinded by love Honey.
Love doesn't begin at the moment when you have butterflies or when you tell yourself that you love each other, love begins when you love the other person and still let them go."
She stood in front of me.
She looked me in the eyes.
Elena:,,Leah look, I love you...and when I look into those blue eyes all I want is to kiss every inch of your beautiful skin. I would love to take your hand and go with you somewhere where no one knows us. You are the love of my life Leah, mark these words... There will always be you in my life, you and your beautiful eyes. I never told you that even when you cry you have the most unique eyes in the world. And your lips are so soft.....But i have to let you Go...for me"
She said, running her thumbs over my lips.
Elena: "I hope you sleep well Leah"
She said, turning around and going into her room.
I stood there, my heart torn into a million pieces
That was by far the harshest thing anyone has said to me.
I felt it everywhere. I cried all night long while she probably drank all night long.
I got out of bed and saw Beth and Viv on the couch.
Everything reminds me of how Elena and I were lying there back then.
Beth: "Good morning"
I just waved and gave the worst fake smile
viv: "you Need to wake up Elena, she doesn't get up when i tried to wake her, I guess she needs your good morning kisses"
I just stood there and looked at the floor.
Leah: "We...we're not together anymore"
Beth: "What?"
they stood up. Yes, great, I had to cry again.
they hugged me.
Just then Elena came out. Perfect Timing.
She went to our medication kit and took out some painkillers.
Beth: "Hey, be careful, these are the 1000. Don't kill yourself or anything."
Elena: "Really? Well then I'll take two."
She drank two.
and went back to her room.
Viv: "Damn, okay, let's start from the beginning, what happened"
I swallowed and breathed deeply.
Leah: "At my birthday party I kissed Lia..."
I told them everything.
Leah: "She drank something yesterday...a lot actually"
Beth: "She's still alive"
Viv: "Strong, she didn't eat anything, drank alcohol on an empty stomach and overdosed on painkillers. Perfect basis for dying"
Leah: "Stop it"
.....
Beth: "Okay, two options...you go in there and talk to her or-"
Leah: "the second one"
Beth: "Or I'll do it and take over your job"
Viv: "You messed up, at least do something right"
I don't want to
Leah: "Yeah, okay, I'll go"
I knocked on her door.
Elena: "no"
Leah: "It's me"
Elena: "Oh, okay...then extra no"
I opened the door.
Everything was dark but she was sitting on the edge of her bed. She held her head with her arms.
Leah: "Headache?"
Elena:,,no. heartache"
Leah: "Do you remember anything from yesterday?"
Elena: "Nope not one bit, but you look like you know more"
Leah: "It was a long night"
Elena: "I think the days are longer"
I sat down next to her.
She looked at me with completely red eyes.
Leah: "You look like you had a long night too"
She was shaking the whole time and wobbling her legs.
Elena: ".......Leah, I miss you...so bad that I'm starting to drink to forget you, please come back, I don't want to anymore."
Leah: "..."
Elena: "I want you to laugh because of me again"
She said and smiled at me.
Leah: "You're the only reason I laugh"
She started laughing and then you saw her wet eyes.
She was still shaking her legs so badly.
Leah: "So you're drinking again?"
Elena: "Leah please"
.....
Leah: "You don't look good"
Elena: "I feel terrible too, please make it stop"
Leah: "I can't"
Elena: "Leah I really love you so bad ......can I hug you?"
Leah: "Don't ask"
She hugged me and stroked my hair.
Leah: "Don't let go, I don't want you to go"
Elena: "I will never leave you, did you forgot?that was my part of the deal"
.......
We both let go our hug.
Leah: "Elena, what's wrong?"
I said because she shakes so much.
Elena: "I want to sleep, I want to finally be able to sleep again with the feeling that I get up and have my stupid blonde lying next to me. I miss you so much that I see you everywhere Leah. My heart screams your name. It wants to go back home. I finally want to sleep without being afraid to dream about you because that only hurts 10,000 times more. Lia should get out of my head, why are you causing me this incredible pain, I'm suffering, Leah."
She cried, god I've never seen her cry before.
Leah: "Come on"
I went into her bed and she lay down next to me.
Leah: "I hate myself for it. Elena, I have no feelings for Lia and if you hadn't been drinking yesterday you would have noticed that too."
She was in my arms.
Leah: "I'm just as much of an idiot as you are when you're drunk...I say or do stupid things...Lia kissed me...What you said yesterday ripped my heart out ....more than that"
Elena: "I don't know anymore"
Leah: "It was painfully sweet"
I stroked her head.
Leah: "You don't deserve this"

Elena's POV
yeah I would call that a mental breakdown.
I could finally smell her scent again.
Elena: "Leah, I don't have the strength to do anything anymore"
Leah: "Sleep, close your eyes. I'm right next to you"