Did he love her?

Enter Leap

Was this love?

He wasn't quite sure. Katha had been his first, his love and light. They had kissed and told one another stories of death and of life.

So when she told him to leave and never return, he thought that it was all over for him.

Viaan had seen the dark night that day all over again, and faced the chasm with only Ehsan and Vanya to hold his hand.

Maa had cried. She regretted. She had cried that night so loud that one would mistake her pain for his and had kept on to the cold metal of the police van, cursing herself for thrusting him into hell. Viaan had wanted to hate her just a little bit.

No, he hated her. If he could point a finger at who caused his fall from glory, it was her and her sister. Such wicked beings come down upon him.

But even here, he was a horrid failure. He had hugged her and whispered, 'Maa, I will be back soon.'

It wasn't because he wanted to taunt her. It was because this dead and wicked heart of his, as Kailesh papa, no Kailesh Garewal, had called it, was still made of flesh and it didn't allow for him to see his mother cry.

Mothers weren't meant to cry. Katha, that day hadn't been wrong.

"Viaan."

"Amrita."

A pink-headed woman slid into the seat beside him, her dark suit particularly prominent beside the white of his jail clothes. She had come every day he had been here. 8am and never a moment late.

Except today.

"You are late. It's 8:03."

"I had to look for parking. Congratulations on finishing your jail term."

"Thank you." He smiled, particularly dazzling, becoming handsome in the only way that Viaan Raghuvanshi could pull. She reached for his cheek, manicured fingers caressing the rough there.

"I love you."

He didn't reply. He merely grabbed her hand and kissed it.

Viaan didn't know what the hell this was, how he had let himself be tempted this far.

Amrita spoke again, her voice a beautiful timbre of brass.

"I said I loved you, do you love me?"

Viaan thought that it was so wicked, fate. She had been his employee, his enemy and rival, his friend in his time of need, and someone who had become so distinctly special.

These past eight months were wrapped in the dark. He didn't know when seeing her face became a priority for him.

"Do you love me?" she asked again.

He felt compelled to answer.

"I don't know." It was the truth. "I don't know, Rita." He pressed another kiss to her hand again.

It was quite warm and sweet like his Jugnu. This wasn't that fuzziness. This, this was a burning fire. He was going crazy, the way this woman had come every day and told him such scandalous things that it shocked him before and spellbound him after.

At first, he hadn't quite expected her, their relationship distant now - but she came. At first, with Ehsan and Vanya and then later alone, as those two catered to the mess Earthcon was in now and other things they thought he didn't notice.

Amrita would tell him things like 'she had loved him for years', 'she had been scared of showing her feelings because of how he was', and 'he was the only one that was special to her.'

Viaan, understandably, hadn't taken her seriously - until the day that she sat by him as he cried, words questioning why he couldn't just love her coming from her mouth. She wasn't precious like Katha. She only wanted to be with him for a while and after he left prison, everything would be over. Besides, it wouldn't matter.

He would never look at her differently.

Viaan had been intrigued and agreed. Now, he wasn't quite sure.

Technically, he had cheated on Katha. But again, he wasn't with Katha. They were over, she had said it and now he was out, he was to win her back and tell her that they were not.

Viaan, however, was reluctant. How should he put it...

"Viaan?"

"Hmm?" He met Amrita's eyes. They were glassy, tears in them. Still, she still had the willpower to curse at him.

"You son of a bitch."

"Rita..."

"You are such a cheap bastard!"

She couldn't curse anymore after bursting into tears. Viaan looked at her crying, wiping tears with the sleeve of her suit, and he thought. This wouldn't do.

It wasn't love for sure, but it wasn't no feelings either.

He reached for her hand and pulled her closer into his arms, his right one patting her back.

"Don't cry, Rita. I am so sorry."

"Boohoo...."

He sighed and kept petting her. Then he let go when she showed signs of pulling away.

"I'm so sorry, Rita."

She didn't answer, wiping her tears with a handkerchief she fished out her Hermes.

"I said I..."

"I heard you the first time, Viaan. I am sorry too."

"For what?"

She shrugged.

"For torturing you all these months."

"Rita..." Her smile looked painful. He didn't like it one bit. It made something in his chest ache.

"Viaan..my heart hurts a lot. It hurts a lot."

Even though she was smiling, it was ugly with all those tears running down her cheeks. Viaan felt constipated, like something had lodged in his heart and caused a wound to fester.

Seeing her so distressed irritated him.

It wasn't gentle, but it wasn't harsh either. It was painful and sour and sweet and umami. It was all the flavors beating in his heart.

Viaan Raghuvanshi didn't know when he reached for her and held her in his embrace, whispering for her not to cry and that she didn't know what she meant to him.

He wasn't in love, not quite, and neither was he confused.

He was affectionate to another woman, his heart under stress with this new complicated emotion in it.

He was tempted. Viaan Raghuvanshi was tempted so terribly.

Did he love her?

He didn't know. And that was such a freaking big deal.

"Do you love me?" Viaan heard her whisper again.

"Yes. I...I love you. Happy?"

There was a lump in his throat as he waited for her answer and it went down when she chuckled. He felt her laugh against his skin, warm breath caressed his neck.

And he laughed too, a mix of incredulity and affection taking root over his whole. He was in deep shit now.

Viaan Raghuvanshi, you went and did it now.

He thought that even as she pulled back a bit and he lowered his face to kiss her.