My handsome cowboy

Chapter 5

John, and when did he actually become John instead of Mr. Dutton, definitely wasn't one of your model patients. Quite the opposite. Taming him would be impossible. And if you were honest, that wasn't your intention either. Men like him had become a rarity. And you enjoyed every moment with him that he gave you. Because that was exactly what it was about, if he hadn't voluntarily given you his time, then you couldn't have achieved anything with him. And you've achieved a lot since you arrived. He certainly wasn't back to normal, but he was well on his way there. And that triggered all sorts of feelings in you that might have made you stop him from riding. It was one of the last steps in his recovery. And after that you wouldn't be needed much longer. And that broke your heart.

But you wouldn't dwell on what was to come. The here and now counted. You've never been happier about your decision to bring your motocross bike instead of your car than you were right at this moment. You had used your time to the full extent. When you hadn't been with John you had either been with the cowboys, the animals or on your motocross bike exploring his land. But you've missed out - big. Although his mounting had been a little too eager and was certainly more painful than it should have been, there was nothing to say about the way he rode because you just couldn't stop staring at him.

Long ago you had ridden yourself and you knew your way around horses. But even a blind man would have seen that John had years upon years of intense riding in his bones. You've never understood the saying that when you were one with the horse, it was hard to tell where the horse ended and you began. Until now. John's ride was so smooth, he could feel the horse's every movement, keeping his hand low and steady and his legs staying in one place. As he sat in the centered spot, back straight and shoulders relaxed, you could see the stress of the last few months ebbing away.

You weren't sure where John would take you, but you steadily climbed the mountain. But he couldn't lose you because you could ride your bike anywhere he went with his horse. He would surely realize it sooner or later. But maybe he just enjoyed challenging you. And as long as he wasn't overexerting himself, you had no problem with it. So far you've been keeping up with him quite well, until you got to the edge of the woods and wondered where he had gone. Tracking was definitely not your forte, but you knew what to do and found him quickly. Only to pause in amazement to spot his horse and some clothing nearby.

"What in the..."

You were shocked to see him sitting in one of the natural hot springs. And there it was again, his piercing gaze, paired with a smirk that said he'd outwitted you.

"Well, my doctor said soak in a warm bath twice a day."

"I meant in a tub, not on top of a mountain. Oh, how could I have forgotten that I have to be clear enough with you. But at least you're sitting in nature's healing pool with all those herbs, minerals and mud."

"Mmhmm. People been coming here to heal for 15,000 years. Care to join me?"

Gosh, it was so tempting. But you had to protect your heart because soon you would leave his ranch. And your heart couldn't bear to be just another notch on his belt.

"Holler if you need help getting out of your tub."

That's all you were able to say as you turned and walked away. How could he do this to you? How could your heart do this to you? It was such a tempting offer, but not meant to be taken seriously. You were sure of that, because what could John Dutton want from you - except for a moment of pleasure. At least for him, for you it would only lead to heartbreak because you could no longer deny your feelings. Love at first sight, once in a lifetime love, these were all foreign concepts to you until John Dutton had walked into your life and turned it upside down.

In your upset state, you only now realized that you had already strayed quite a distance from him. How could you be so stupid? You knew there were wildlife on his land that posed a threat even to humans. There was a reason John carried his rifle. And that was certainly partly because of the recent events and partly because he knew the dangers his land posed. Cautiously you made your way back, keeping an eye out for danger. Luckily you didn't meet any and when you were near John's spa you even found something for Jamie's son.

"Violet root."

You almost jumped out of your skin when you heard John's voice right next to you. So much for caution.

"Mmhmm. JJ is getting teeth."

"JJ?"

"Jamie Jr."

"Aahh, I see. Isn't he a bit young for that?"

"He's early, but anything is possible with babies."

"I thought it was the 3-month colic."

John never ceased to surprise you, although as a father he certainly had enough experience with teething and colic. You knew he was a man of many talents, but as he gently took the violet root from your hand, drew his knife and in a few simple steps fashioned a beautiful chain with his grandson's name engraved on it, you couldn't help but fall in love with him a little more.

You had no idea how such a simple but loving gift could lead to a fight the next morning. You were sure it had to be the dining table. There was no other explanation. It had to be that damn table. It just wasn't possible to eat at that thing without hearing nasty words or worse.

After Randall's attack, everyone had moved into the main house. And that was understandable, after all you were stronger together. At first it had been strange for you that everyone slept under one roof, but you quickly got used to it. And it certainly had its perks. But eating together was certainly not one of it. There wasn't a single meal at that damn table that didn't feel like a battle.

JJ had slept through the night and that hadn't happened since you were at the ranch. Actually, everyone should have been rested and in a good mood. But it wasn't long before Beth attacked her usual target. And no, that wasn't you, it was Jamie. Jamie didn't even know what was happening to him when he sat down with JJ.

Normally, Beth would focus on Jamie himself with her insults, but this time she not only aimed at him, but also at JJ. At first there were harmless remarks, indicating how annoyed she had been by the babies' crying of the last few days, but the spitefulness of her remarks grew more and more. You tried to intervene - because you couldn't understand why no one else was doing it - but it seemed like that only fueled her anger further. And thus your own.

Until things reached boiling point and a comment was made, you just couldn't let slide. Little JJ was too young to understand, but you certainly wouldn't watch Beth put him down like she did Jamie. Jamie was old enough, but little JJ couldn't protect himself. And you couldn't understand why nobody else has come to the aid of a child. And that shocked and hurt you. It took a lot for you to lose control, but as you slammed the door behind you, you couldn't help but let out a cry of despair.