That was hope

Chapter 3: Un-unrequited love (Part 1)

This is my attempt at fluff once again...

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He sounded unusually sheepish. His fingers were tapping each other lightly but quickly. No way was this guy actually nervous. Maybe it's the cold outside. That thought was quickly diminished when I noted that he could not hold eye contact for at most two seconds. He probably came here for some serious reason...whatever it was, I was more than glad to hear him out, let alone be near his presence. Though I had to stop looking at him a lot if I needed to hear what he has for me.

"How could I not?" I joked to relieve myself from all the awkwardness within me. As expected, no laughter. Only a confused glance. Why the hell would I say that? What if he catches the hint and gets all weird?  Why did I have to be right again? How could I ever forget this man? The man who made me realize that I can be infatuated by guys - in fact, infatuated at all - expected me to forget him? Anyway, he's not a mind reader, so I guess I'll have to understand.

"Come in! come in!" I said in an exaggerated happy tone, trying to shake of the nerves that had almost overcome my judgement. He nods and begins to remove his shoes. Once he was done, he motioned for the door and I instantly paved way for him to enter. Immediately he passed me, I drowned in his woody scent- he had been loyal to this perfume for the longest time that I knew him and I could see why. I could've become a drooling mess or even hug him to relive the day I first hugged him, but I didn't need to make him feel awkward. Again, it felt weird that he hadn't hugged me on the way in, but I can only hope that it's not a new normality I should be used to.

He gently sat on the sofa in the living room with an upright and uptight posture, being the first time he has been to my house. How he knew where my house was- I don't know. As much as I would love to know, all that mattered was that he was here. All other thoughts I had to brush off for the sake of keeping him around. So I got out a glass and poured out some clean water into it and gave it to him, all while keeping cool. He gratefully took it from my hands- his hands brushing against mine. Immediately after the touch I was lost in thought, as I remembered how it felt like touching him. I remembered how calloused his hands were because of all the sports and working out he was doing in school. I remember how his hands felt around my back when we hugged each other goodnight, and good morning, and when I cried: his hands always found a home on my back. Now my back was mildly aching for attention after touching my hands- for his hands to give it attention.

"Rique, you good?" he asked, concerned over why I looked lost. Immediately, I was pulled down to reality and shifted a bit in search for composure.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. It's nothing." I said, as I took the glass he was holding out to me and walked over to the kitchen. I hope he didn't see my not-so-subtle blush I was trying to hide afterwards. Remember, the goal is to keep him around. Once I came back to the living room after washing the glass, I sat on the sofa opposite him, ready to listen to whatever he has for me. Once again, he could not hold eye contact for shit; it was almost sad because that wasn't in his nature, but I would be that nervous too if it was something really hefty to deliver. Therefore, I began paying attention to other objects in the room. The old painting of a girl in hide clothing holding a calabash looked back at me with a two-dimensional smile and eyes that shrunk because of the smile. I noticed new things: the brown water, the fragments of dirt on the air, the artist's signature...things I wouldn't have noticed in the past.

"First of all," he began, "I know that I came in unannounced and I want to apologize for that."

"No, no, no, no, no! It's all good. no worries!" I said with no hesitation, as I raised my pitch and softened my voice a bit to reassure him. Honestly, I lost track of how many times I said no, or how fast I said it. Short silence cut through the conversation after the reassurance.