Have you ever felt that there are people around you but still no one is there for you?
Have you ever felt like the second option on everyone's list?
Have you ever felt you want to cry but don't have a shoulder to cry on?
Have you ever felt that for...
"Avani for the last time I am saying at least talk to him," my mother told me.
"Mom can you please for some time close this topic," I shouted getting irritated.
"You are 27 now till when you want us to wait?" she asked me pacing in the room.
"Mom I don't have an answer for it but I am not ready yet," I replied honestly.
"Do you have someone in your life?" she asked the same question. The same question which goes on my nerves again and again.
"No Mom. How many times do I have to tell you this?" can't she understand?
"So what? We are not telling you to marry him tomorrow. We are just saying talk to him on the phone then we will see about it," she explained to me. And I guess my patience level has ended.
"Mom I will be returning back to Delhi tomorrow," saying that I left the room. I don't want to say things that will hurt her.
I came into my room and started to pack my luggage. I booked my tickets for tomorrow morning. I can't stay here anymore. It is getting too suffocating here.
I know whenever I come home this topic will be raised so I avoid coming home. I have avoided going to any relative's place because of the same question which is asked again and again.
After I did my packing I lay on my bed as it was already 9 PM. I did not have my dinner and now I was in no mood to have it. I still had 2 more days time but it was better if I leave tomorrow. the earlier the better for my own peace of mind.
You guys might be thinking that I am against marriage or anything. It is not it's just I want to experience the love that is shown in the books. I believe that I deserve someone who will make all those moments true not someone who will take me as a liability.
Throughout my childhood I have been downgraded in that I don't look, I can't do anything, and so on. This all has really broken me down. I am right now in the phase of my life where I want to first bring my mental state to a good condition. I believe if I can't love myself how can I love someone else?
I have been going through a lot of insecurities in my life that no one knows about. I don't blame them for not knowing because I never shared. But I can't blame myself also. First, I am an introvert I can't trust anyone so easily so I never share with anyone my feelings. Secondly, I am the eldest daughter in my family so I have always been told to put on a brave mask. There are many other reasons that have me like this but yeah the main reasons are this.
Thinking about my life I don't know when I slept.
I woke up when an alarm rang. I looked at the time and it was 6 in the morning. My flight was at 10 in the morning so I decided to get up.
I got up from my bed and put my phone on the charger. Obviously, it's a must as I can't survive without it. I went inside the washroom and did my morning routine.
At around 8 I checked my luggage one last time and left my room. I was wearing a white crop top with black trousers. I chose to wear white color shoes.
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"Mom I will be leaving," I told her as she was busy cooking breakfast.
"She sighed and said, "Have breakfast first then you can go." Her ego is the same as mine. then she says where did I get so much ego from? Like really woman have you seen yourself?
Without complaining I went to sit at the breakfast table. I don't want to stretch the fight so I just chose to bury myself in the phone.
"There is no maid here. You can't help but the least you could do is take your breakfast to the table," she shouted from the kitchen. Hearing her words I was about to cry but resisted myself. I took deep breaths and went inside the kitchen.
Taking my food I came out and ate my food in a hurry. It was getting too difficult for me to stay here for a minute also. I went inside and washed my plate and kept it in its place.
"How will you go?" she asked while doing her work.
"I will book an Uber," I told her and went to bring my luggage down. I once again had a last look to see if I left anything or not.
I came down and Mom was waiting for me. "I can drop you," she said.
"It's fine. I will go. I have booked a ride and it's about to come," I informed her.
She came and hugged me. "You know I am doing it for your own good but you never understand me," she said while hugging me.
"But you don't understand me also," I wanted to say to her but kept mum.
"You know the stories which you read are frictional world. There is no Prince Charming in real life. We middle-class people have to marry someone of our status. No rich boy will come and marry you," she spoke the truth.
"Mom I am not waiting for a prince to come and sweep me off my feet," I told her the truth.
"Then what's the issue?" she asked again. I checked the time and Uber had reached the location.
To end this debate I said "Fine you can give my number. I will talk to him." I know this was only the solution to this problem right now.
Hearing my words she smiled and said "Ok. Now go and message me once you reach."
Author's note
Hello lovely readers🙋♀️
It was a short chapter but I hope you liked it😊
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