Everybody Wants to Rule the World

There's a room where the light wont find you

Steve always knew he wasn't smart.

It was a simple fact now, common sense. Everyone either thought it or said it straight to his face. Since he was little he was told he was dumb, in school, at home. Despite his wide eyed wonder for the world around him, He'd come home with the lowest marks on his report cards, with notes to "Do better". No one seemed to notice anything was wrong with him. They didn't notice him squinting at the paper as the words bounced around. They didn't seem to notice him asking more questions than the other kids. They just assumed he was born dumb.

It used to bother him for a while. He wanted to prove he was more than a pretty face and some muscles. Prove to his father he could take over the business when he was old enough. Prove he could become something and do amazing things just like they told every other kid. But after enough time he just got used to it. He made it a part of himself. It was easier to dumb himself down than to deal with the overwhelming feelings he felt on a daily basis. It was easier to pretend he didn't know that his friends were hurting people. Easier to pretend he had this perfect little life in his perfect little house with his perfect little parents.

It became his way to deal with things. His way to deal with how everyone treated him like trash. How his father drowned his problems in alcohol and took out his anger on Steve on the days he was actually home. How His mother stood by and watched it happen because she was too scared to do anything about it. How she followed his dad around like a dog to keep their marriage in tact. All he had to do was just pretend he didn't understand or care. It was easier to deal with being called stupid or dense than to actually think about what was happening to him.

Eventually his parents started leaving more, "soon as he could reach the stove" as he liked to say. As soon as they thought he was fit to not accidentally kill himself if left alone for too long, they were off to Vegas or wherever they went to for "business". It was manageable at first, every kid thinks it's amazing to be home alone. No parents to yell at you or boss you around, you could have the time of your life. But it really was just lonely, waking up to a quiet and empty home. (Could he even call it a home?)

After a while everything seemed to fade into the background. It was like he was detached from his body, watching from a TV screen inside his brain. He was on autopilot, day to day. As much as he regretted it now, he would sit back and let people tell him what to do. He didn't try hard to be much, and he barely skated by on Cs throughout his Freshman and Sophmore years. He sat back as his friends bullied and tormented the 'freaks' in their free time.

But then came Nancy.

It was like a splash of color in his monotone life. She showed him what is was like to live life to it's fullest, to feel. She made him feel the love he deserved all these years. She helped him with patient eyes, holding his hand when he struggled with the letters jumping around the page. She kissed him and hugged him and held him close like he was the most precious thing in the world. She opened up her heart to him and encouraged him to do the same.

And even when he couldn't, when he couldn't get the tears to fall out of his eyes, she stayed as patient as ever and still loved him all the same. She was the only person he told about his parents. The only one who stayed long enough to care. She would let him crash at her place, when the yellling got to be to much. Held him when he was scared. It was the most loved he had felt in his entire life, the most respected and seen. He even started trying harder in school, managing to get As and Bs for a while. He was present in those moments, actually, truly living his life.

And when the horrors of the upside down began to trickle into their world, she was there. Those were also times when steve felt, but it was always too much. It was jarring, and he couldn't go back into his comfort zone even if he wanted to. Jonathan wad also there, one of the people Steve watched his friends bully every now and then. At first he supposed it was because their brothers were friends, but suddenly it was more than that. He had taken pictures of them together, and then he was trying to get between him and Nancy. Trying to ruin their relationship. Billy Hargrove, the new kid from California came into his life as well, whether he was a blessing or a curse he couldn't tell.