Thank you for being (arguably) the only positive influence in this part of my life. Most nights I would know that I needed change to the endless cycle that I've been in, but never found the courage or energy to apply myself. Obviously, we don't speak, so I can imagine how crazy this looks. I don't thank you for meaningless delusions. Something clicked in me after realizing everyone was still in the discord except me. I knew then that I desperately wanted to change. Whether it be for you accepting me back or similar situations to this, not happening again... crucial, unnoticeable changes would be needed. I can't keep repeating the same sentence to myself though, eventually we will forget each other if this isn't patched. "Want to be there for you whenever needed." It's a mystery to me how low I've stooped just to find the correct words and put that together. Knowing how slow I am, you'll probably have most the letters in my passwords, for a while. Thank you for lending me your eyes as I wrote and vented to you hoping you'd come back around. It's sucky to think I've only kept trying so that I knew they were being read as I was pushed further and further away. Truthfully, that wasn't the case at all. I guess I'm just dumb, hard-headed and unprofessional. This may feel like a goodbye but that isn't my intention, it never was. I hope this will show you that I've matured and am ready for forgiveness. I never was an interesting person to follow so I can't imagine how much of a donowall this entire attempt is. I miss you.
