A/N: this fic is based off an inside joke with one of my irl friends so if this is confusing i'm sorry
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It was an exceptionally rainy day and Harvey was bored out of their mind, with nothing to do. Harvey pondered and paced around their whole house, thinking about what they could go do. "EUREKA!!!," Harvey exclaimed in their head. Harvey grabbed their car keys and headed to the nearest mall, since they hadn't been to the mall in years. As soon as Harvey arrived, they decided to head over to Spencers to look for some band tees. As soon as Harvey walked in, an Ice Nine Kills t-shirt caught their eye and they scurried on over to it like a rat. To Harvey's surprise, there were no shirts in their size, so they decided to just look around the rest of Spencer's. Harvey was enjoying their time just pondering around the store, eyeing all the band t-shirts, stickers, pins, etc. on display, until they reached the back.
oh shit.
Harvey was reluctant to walk back there, but did so anyway out of pure curiosity and just to laugh at all the silly ass looking dildos/just sex toys in general that were showcased throughout that whole section of the store. Harvey then saw what seemed to be a bottle of maple syrup shopping for a new rose toy. Harvey threw up a bit in their mouth at the sight of the maple syrup bottle doing so until they really got a good look at the maple syrup bottle. The maple syrup bottle had sparkling, translucent oculars. He also had an 8 pack and stood at about 6'9. "Zoo wee mama," Harvey thought. "I wanna nibble on his toes so bad....his toenail clippings probably taste fresh outta the sap bucket....ngh," Harvey thought whilst drooling at the sight of the maple syrup bottle. Harvey always had a strong hatred for Canadians, but this maple syrup bottle was the only exception in Harvey's book. Harvey then decided to approach the maple syrup bottle to ask for his number, biting their nails out of spite because of how nervous they were to do so. "Hey, erm, can i get your number?," Harvey said whilst pissing themself because of how nervous they were whilst squeezing their legs tightly together to prevent piss from slipping out. "Yes babygirl, here, let me write it down on paper for you," said the maple syrup bottle. The maple syrup bottle scribed the digits "9174000979" on a piece of paper he dug out from the crack of his ass. "My name's Gabe by the way, Gabe Saporta," said the maple syrup bottle with a smug smirk on his face. Harvey then started shitting up the walls and Gabe started lapping it up with no shame. Then they kissed and got married, watched dan and phil and did the infamous dan and phil face paint, and then both became furries because of some curse Gabe's friend William casted on them or smth bc William secretly had a crush on Gabe since childhood.
THE END!!! :3
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