Grief Stricken Choices

Chapter 1

As he stared at himself in the mirror, he didn't even recognize the man that stared back at him. His once vibrant green eyes seemed dull, and there was a faint darkness under them from lack of sleep. He hadn't slept more than an hour at a time since the accident. His smile that had once been captivating with pearly whites was now a constant frown that reflected the sorrow in his eyes. The only time his hair got any attention was when it was being washed in the shower. But that morning, he forced himself to run a comb through it and apply some hair gel so he didn't look as if he had just rolled out of bed. He didn't want anyone to know just how close he was to losing it.

He picked up the Scope bottle on the sink and swished it around in his mouth a few times, making sure no one could smell the whiskey on his breath. There was a knock on the door. "Colt, it's time to go," his brother, Jared, said. Colt pulled the chain around his neck from under his shirt and held his wedding ring in his fingers. After a moment, he tucked it back in, and then gave himself one last look in the mirror. He decided he looked as good as he was going to get and opened the bathroom door where Jared was waiting for him.

Looking at the two brothers, it was hard to tell they were related. Colt was thirty-one, four years older than Jared. Although younger, Jared was much taller, standing six foot five while Colt was six foot one. Colt was muscular and stocky. Jared, tall and lean, but both were in exceptional shape. They both had the same medium brown colored hair, Colt's cut short while Jared's was a little shaggy. Jared had the same green eyes as Colt. For the funeral, they were both dressed in suit and ties. They didn't dress nice very often because it just wasn't their style. Colt's suit was black pants, white dress shirt, black jacket with a black tie, which he hated ties. Jared's suit mimicked his except his was a dark gray color. They both worked as mechanics at one of the car shops in town, Colt being head mechanic. He started at the shop when he was just eighteen. Their father had worked there many years before his death a few years back.

Jared drove them to the funeral home. Over halfway there, there was nothing but silence. Jared asked, "You okay?"

Staring out the window, Colt sighed. "I'm fine." But Jared knew otherwise. He hated that his brother was hurting.

When they got to the funeral home, several people were already there. Colt was pulled in for several hugs as he made his way through the crowd and was asked again and again if he was okay. He lied to them as they asked. Did they really expect him to be? He swore that he was going to punch the next person who asked if he was okay in the face. He didn't understand why people asked that when there was a funeral. When asked, the person in question always said they were okay. But what if they said no? What could someone possibly say to make them feel better? Nothing they say could take away the hurt. Colt wanted to hurry and get out of there away from everyone.

Colt finally made his way to the sanctuary of the church, and then he saw them. Two coffins. One big. One small. Two coffins that held the bodies of his wife, Audrey and their five-year-old son, Zackary. He felt like someone's hand was in his chest squeezing his heart. His breaths deepened, and he fought hard to keep the tears in. The coffins were closed, and he couldn't take his eyes off them. He just stood there frozen.

"Hey, you okay?" Jared was suddenly beside him. Aggravated now, Colt turned to him and in a low but harsh voice said, "Dude, you ask me that one more time and I'll..." His threat was cut short when his father-in-law walked up to say, "The ceremony is about to begin." Kevin walked past the brothers and took a seat in the front pew.

Audrey's father never liked Colt. He blamed Colt for her decision not to finish college and pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor. Colt and Audrey did things out of order. They were together eight months when she got pregnant with Zackary. And when Zack was a year old, they finally decided to get married. Kevin hated it. Audrey's brother, Lucas, sat down between his parents and Colt. He was the same age as Colt, three years older than Audrey. He and Colt got along okay but only associated because of his sister.