SACRED WATERS

It's a steamy cold morning. Its past 10 am. There is still morning fog here and there. But I can't see far due to the fog. I am walking alone, going home finishing my classes. Oh ! My God ! Not again ! They are again standing on the the same spot like yesterday !

This is year 2005. I am in college. I finished my S.S.C Exam last year and passed successfully. I got admitted into woman's college. Its a famous college in my town. Around 2 km far from my college there is a boy's college and that's famous college for boys too. Accidently as a college student we wear white dresses, and that boys college wear white dresses too. So, when we pass each other on the road, Boys often tease us calling us widows (As we all girls wear white dresses) and we often called them widower (as they wear white dresses too).

I wear Borka (Islamic Religious Wear for woman). So my face and body always covered and as I am a very thin lady, I walk super fast so I don't hear teasing that much. I am not supposed to wear Borka, I am not that religious type person, and also Borka makes body hot. I often sweat wearing it. My mother doesn't want me to wear Borka as well. But I still want to wear it. Of course, there is a reason ! I find most of our town boys is not busy enough. They are very interested in looking into woman. How woman walks ? How woman's body looks ? hows woman body size ? Though I am not an attractive girl, but still I find it very uncomfortable that they notice me too (From top to down ). I feel very uncomfortable everyday when I walk back to home finishing my coaching studies. When I was preparing my S.S.C exam, I had to take coaching classes after my school, So it was almost evening /night time when I used to finish my coaching classes. I used to feel very uncomfortable coming back from my coaching classes at evening time wearing school uniform. Walking in the streets I felt like every pair of eyes questioning me....why a school girl coming home that late ? Then I started wearing Borka. I felt comfortable. People didn't judge me head to toe anymore whenever I go to coaching classes or came home late. Though I am not wearing Borka for religious reasons, But I am happy by myself, cause I can see everyone but no one can see me, they only can see my eyes.

But I am far from a ladylike person, I am a tom boy. Though I wear Borka, But I have so many male friends than female. And that day they were standing on the same damn spot ! Yes, they are my so called friends ! Obviously they are waiting for girls from our college to come out at break time. But as I am coming, they are not going to spare me as always. Seeing me coming, one of them call me by my name from far. I have to meet them, I know, If I go to them, they are not going to let me go within 30 minutes or 1 hour. But If I don't attend them, they will definitely come to my house. So I have to attend them on this street to avoid this pack from coming to my house later. When I reach to them, I notice 2 of them sitting, 3 or 4 of them standing, and other 2 of them I don't even know who they are. But as they are together, I think they are classmates or friends as they are also wearing white college uniforms. Yes, You guess it right. My male friends are also from that so called widower college students. I am also wearing my white college uniform beneath my Borka as well. But that's not the issue. when I reach at them, one of them snatch my bag. He is my close friend and the taller one ! He is kind of a lady killer with 6 feet height and handsome face and very very popular among us. He always grabs my bag first, as I am always busy and try to avoid them with small talk. So grabbing my bag is a tactics they apply to detain me for some time. As my bag is under their control, I can't flee. So usually what happens ...I have to gossip with them for some time, then we go some eating places and gossip more, or they come to my house or if sometime I am lucky, they just let me go. Today they detain me to ask about a girl in my class. Obviously I know that girl, as I know most of the boys of my town and also studying in a popular girls college, I play as matchmaker most of the time. So this meeting is about a very beautiful girl. They tell me to make meeting arrangements between a friend and her. They also tell me, If I do that, they will let me have my bag back and let me go. So simple today ! So I tell them, 'No worries, I will talk with that girl and arrange a meeting'. They believe me quick and gave back my bag. They want to come to my house but I tell them, "Not today. I am little busy today". So, they let me go. Today I am not in the mood to entertain boys. But I always feel a mild kind of body heat when I am around them. Its not usual. I don't really feel any kind of serious emotions when I am around with boys, but there is always a mild body heat and that heat stays with me even after I leave them. I often don't bother about it. I am thinking ...why I don't want to date any of them ? But I am very much in fear of that idea. I don't want to ruin my life in this early stage. I want to study more. Engaging into a relationship may end up in marriage or making me pregnant. I don't want that ! I want one successful relationship which will end up in marriage. I always feel this is not the right time to do that. When I will complete my higher study or at least completing my study, that time I would like to engage in a relationship. But the truth is ...This is my flower age ! And I am also hanging around with many boys daily. Though it is not making my heart flutter, But I usually avoid all kinds of flattery towards me with jokes. Anyway ...I have to past this stage of my life avoiding all these hot guys and their flattery. I tell my self daily, 'I must have to be strong and pass this stage'. My mother had me in her early age, I knew how much suffering she faced to make me grow. I don't want to fall for this early age romantic dramas. I have to be strong to pass this stage of my life without romantically involving with anyone.