Suffering

A Late Start

Unfortunately for you, you woke up late. Pansy tried to shake you awake, but it was difficult. Finally, you opened your eyes and realized you were about to miss breakfast on the first day of classes.

You rushed to put on your uniform and went to brush your teeth. There was no time for makeup, even though you would have loved to look nice on the first day. The only thing you had time for was running a brush through your hair and literally running out of the door of the Slytherin commons.

Running was strictly prohibited, but you wanted to make it to the Great Hall before breakfast was over. You rushed into the room where the entire student body was almost done with their breakfast.

You quickly threw a few things on your plate and stuffed them into your mouth with great speed. This wasn't the normal way a lady like you would conduct herself, but you had no choice in the matter this morning.

Your eyes made their way around the room and finally up to the teachers' table. Once again, you made direct eye contact with Professor Snape, who was leaning back in his chair.

One of his eyebrows shot up, and you could tell he was thinking something. It was probably about how silly you looked with a mouth full of food. Your face flushed, and you looked down at your plate of food, trying to choke it down.

Within seconds, you felt a gust of air from his cape flowing behind him and a familiar voice behind you. All you could think was, holy shit.

Professor Snape leaned down to you and said with a stern voice, "If you would get up in a timely manner, silly girl, you wouldn't have to rush. Let's not make a habit of this, shall we?"

You could feel the weight of his condescending tone. The only thing you could manage to say was, "Yes, Sir." You looked back at him, and a tiny smirk formed at the corner of his mouth, which quickly vanished.

You watched as he made his way out of the Great Hall. The bell rang, and it was time for the students to make their way to their first-period classes.

Your schedule looked as such:

- Breakfast

- Transfiguration

- Astronomy

- Lunch

- Herbology

- Potions Class

- Free Period

- Dinner

The morning went on without incident until lunch. You sat down in your usual spot and started to pick at your plate. Without realizing, Draco plopped right down in front of you. He reached across the table at your hand, and you quickly pulled it back, shooting him a look of confusion.

"You could at least talk to me. None of this was my choosing. You know that," said Draco. You had a look of surprise on your face and replied, "You could have fooled me."

You looked back down at your food, hoping he would leave or better yet just disappear so you didn't have to see him anymore. You were starting to fill with a rage that was unknown to you. You hated being rejected. It felt like Draco had torn you apart, limb from limb last year.

You couldn't even stand the sight of him anymore. You started holding your fork so tight that it was turning your knuckles white. Draco said, "Please, Y/N," in an almost begging tone.

Just then, you completely boiled over. All of the feelings you had been holding in for months came to the surface, and you couldn't hold your tongue anymore. You stabbed your fork into the wooden top of the dining table and screeched with a low hiss, "How fucking dare you. You don't get to treat me like a piece of garbage and expect us to remain civil, do you?!"

You waited for his answer. Your tone had made everyone in the surrounding area look your way and come to a hush. Draco had a look of pure shock and horror on his face. Being a Malfoy, no one spoke to him or his family in such a tone. He was absolutely speechless for a second. It became clear that your little scene had drawn some attention.

Professor Snape looked on as the two of you stared at each other. He was rather curious as to what would happen next.

Just then, you couldn't take it anymore. You had to flee from this confrontation before you did anything worse. You picked up your bag and made it out into the corridor where you had been holding your tears back.

As soon as the doors closed behind you, you could feel hot streams running down your cheeks. You walked through the hallway until you came to an arch leading to the courtyard. It was sprinkling, but that didn't stop you from walking right into the middle of the courtyard. You took a seat on a bench.

All you could think of was the weight of everyone else's expectations on you. It felt like an immovable amount of weight. It sat heavy in your chest.

You almost felt unable to breathe. You pictured your void in your head. The void where no one speaks to you or says mean things toward you. The one where no one expects you to be a certain way or acts disappointed in you. This was the place you could spend the rest of your life in. It was your safe place.

Completely alone in your thoughts. Eventually, you realized how long you had been sitting there, and you were completely soaked in rain. You looked up to the corner of the courtyard, and a dark figure was standing, leaning against a pillar, just out of reach of the rain.

You locked eyes with the figure, and for a second, it felt like they understood. After a moment, the tall dark figure turned and walked away back into the corridor. Just then, the bell rang, and it was time to go to Herbology.

Professor Sprout was a lovely woman, if not a bit odd. You had always appreciated gardening and getting your hands in the soil. You loved nurturing the plants and watching them grow.

Finally, the class was over, and you made your way back down to the dungeons. You walked slowly, completely lost within your thoughts. Finally, you made it into the classroom, and the only seat that was left was next to Draco.

"You have got to be kidding me," you said inside your mind. It crossed your mind for a split second to just run. You could run right out of there and into your dorm. Just then, you felt a tall figure behind you. The familiar voice said, "We don't have all day for you to take a seat, Miss Y/L/N," he said with a sneer. You replied, "Um, yes, sorry, Professor," you uttered as you took a seat next to the blonde ferret.