The A-Z Of Sex

The Truth Of The Weight Crashes Down

"We need to talk right now!"

My sister sits right in front of me and stares at me in a way that says I am not getting out of this, So I sit up straight in the armchair and pretend I'm listening

"You're messing up so fuckin bad right now Travis"

I look her in the eyes but never say a word, knowing when it comes to Aaliyah there's no point In arguing all I can do is listen and then ignore

"Taylor..."

"Blond, blue eyes, annoying as hell? Yeah I know her"

"Blonde, hot as hell and don't even try to pretend you don't think so"

I snort at her and then shake my head and kick out my feet, daring her to continue this conversation but this is Aaliyah and there's no way she will give up until she's had her say

"What exactly is the problem brother?"

"She wants a boyfriend, I want sex" I shrug as though it's the most obvious thing in the world that it won't work out

"Bullshit, you want her but you're afraid she will hurt you"

"Aaliyah..."

"Travis..."

"You may think the sun shines out of your friends ass but..."

"Well you tell me you've had your hands and your mouth on it right? Tell me, did the sun burn your fingers or your tongue?"

I sigh again at how fuckin infuriating my sister is

"Look, whatever you think. Taylor and I... it's not happening"

"Well that's where you're wrong because Taylor and you, it already happened, you already caught feelings for her and now you're acting like a huge dick trying to deny it and you are hurting her in the process. Get this straight Travis. No one hurts my best friend, not even my ass wipe of a brother"

"Look, I haven't hurt Taylor, she has hurt her self by developing feelings when I warned her not to, she knew what she was getting into with me Liyah, I was honest from the start she knew who I was, what I wanted and what I was willing to give her, if somehow, In her mind that's changed well that's down to her it's not down to me"

"And what about the feelings you told yourself not to have? You have them for Taylor I know you do"

She crosses her arms over her chest as I heave in a breath and hunch forward on the seat, lacing my fingers together and looking away from my sister

"Look Liyah, Taylor is your friend, I get it and she has feelings for me... I get that too, but you coming in here, jumping to conclusions and making an entire story up in your head and then filling her head with it, it's not fair to her and it's not fair to me"

"Lucia broke your heart. I get that!"

I turn my face and body away from her not wanting to hear that name or engage in this conversation anymore

"But Taylor isn't Lucia, she's single for a start, she has had you and knows your an asshole and she still wants you. Fuck Travis she signed up for jiu jitsu classes to be near you, do you know how dead your students are going to make her?! She's so tiny and so soft and so, so, into you"

"Yeah well she shouldn't be"

"Yeah I know that, fuck I have told her over and over again but she's not hearing me and I'm not hearing you. You like her, you want her... what a cup of coffee and a slice of cake is going to kill you?!"

"Yeah well you know caffeine raises the rate at which your heart beats and don't get me started on the damage sugar does..."

"Travis. Please. You know just as well as I do that there is something more than sex between you and Taylor , please can you put the past behind you and just give her a chance?!"

I take a breath and give it a thought "No"

"Travis !!!!"

"Liyah!!!"

"Who knew you were such a fuckin coward?!"

She stands up, hands on hips, her cheeks pink and I tighten my jaw, knowing she's looking for a fight but refusing to give her one

"The big fighter, the ego, the attitude but when it comes down to it all you are is a scared little boy and it's pathetic. I'm glad you aren't dating Taylor because she deserves so much more than you" she turn abruptly and heads towards the living room door and I wipe my face with my hands as the weight of the truth crashes down on me

"And there it is... there's the truth" I throw my head back against the armchair and cover my face with my arms in surrender and I hear Aaliyah's footsteps stop

"What did you say?" She asks quietly

"I said that what you just said is the truth. She deserves better than me. It doesn't matter how I feel the truth is I'm a fuck up and I will fuck things up with every girl I try anything with other than sex"

"That's not true..." she's heading back towards me and I begin to wish I had kept my mouth shut "What happened with Lucia sucked, but that was on her not you. You're not a fuck up" she reaches up and holds my arms and pulls them from my face "You're my brother, my hero, you're kind and funny and beautiful and the biggest dick in the world sometimes but you're perfect to me and you are perfect to Taylor , you're perfect for Taylor . One coffee, one slice of cake, we could double if that feels like less of 'a date, date', please Travis , give yourself this chance, Taylor won't hurt you"

"But will I end up hurting her? I can't be what she needs Liyah"

"I hate to tell you this Travis but you already are"