Cheater

Time goes by..(so slowly)

Michael rattled the pills in his hand like a pair of dice, and tipped his head back, to throw them in his mouth.

He picked up his glass of juice, and took a long sip, sniffing, and sitting up straight in the chair around his desk.

He didn't like this house.
This house wasn't his home.
This house was just one of his extravagant investments.

Michael had so far spent his day, partially in the movie room, although no movie was engaging.

It was so much less fun without Bernadine up under him, sleeping through the best part of the Bruce lee movie.

He'd gone to the pool, with no intentions to swim, but it was no fun dipping his fingers in, when the kids weren't trying to splash him and B.

He didn't get in the pool anyway, because the chlorine was a no go for his skin, although Bernie would always make him feel included when she used to hold the babies in the pool to swim for their first time.

Michael even went to the candy walk-in, but it wasn't half as naughty when Bernadine wasn't there, eating it with him.

So here he was again.
The study.
Where he'd slept for the past month, because being in a king sized bed, only reminded him of how much space he had in it.

Now the pills had been consumed, he was unsure of what he could do for the next hour or so, and taking another round of pills did cross his mind.

They eased the pressure on his scalp.
They made him tired.
He could sleep away another month if he wanted to.

He sighed, looking up at the clock on the big oak wall. His desk was big, and not that full due to the fact he'd only been there, living for a month.

It was quarter to five. Bernie would be most definitely under his arm, on the couch, both of them watching the kids play on the carpet after dinner.

Relentless kisses.
"Yuck, daddy don't kiss mom that way!"
"What way?"
"With your tongue in her mouth!"
Laughter

Michael could feel the pills kicking in as his lids grew heavier than before.
He liked this feeling.

He could be dead to the world for a good peaceful while, and wake up, with it being a new day.

Bernadine would be disappointed, he knew that..
But she wasn't there to wash the pills down the drain like she had so many times before..

He held on to the thought of Sunday, and the prospects it might bring.
He didn't like the silence, because his head was obsessed with the sound of his life before he messed up..

***
"You can't sleep?" Bernadine rubbed her eye with her fist, and looked at her daughter with the other.

Mia was in a pink night gown, and her twists were hidden in a silky bonnet.

She played with her hands nervously, and shook her head, looking at the ground.

Bernadine sighed, and wiped her face.
"Mia, you're not allowed in the bed.."
"That's dads rule.." She mumbled softly.

"It's very valid, too. You gotta sleep in your bed, baby.." Bernadine was tired, and for almost two weeks, Mia had been climbing in beside her with Michael's absence.

"I called daddy, to say goodnight, but he didn't answer.."
Bernadine knew why.
Michael would answer any time of the night for the kids, unless he was out of it.

"He's probably asleep.."
"He said we could call goodnight, and he'd always pick up.." She whined softly.

"Mia, baby. He gets tired too. Tired like me. See?" Bernadine laughed softly, pointing to the tired eyes deep in her face.

"I can't sleep now, though.." Mia frowned at her mother, who gave in, and patted the space next to her in bed.

Mia climbed up, and snuggled under her mothers arm, smelling her perfume and skin, which reminded her everything would eventually be fine.

"When is daddy coming home, ma?" Mia scarily reminded Bernadine of the same words she'd said to her own mother when her father disappeared from their lives, and it made Bernie shiver.

She couldn't have a repeat.

"He'll be home, sweet. I can say when, but.."
"Why not? You could take him back. You could just forgive him.."

"You'll understand in a year or two.."
"I understand now, ma.. But daddy loves you, and he loves us.. Why does he have to leave?"

"Because we have to heal, Mia. In time, princes.." Bernadine stroked her child's face with her knuckles.

Even though Mia was nearing the age of thirteen, and was a very mature thirteen at that, she would always be Bernadine's baby.

"At least you're going on Sunday.." Mia mumbled softly, as B sighed heavily, allowing her daughter to fall asleep.