Short Stories

Falling

His breath choked on a gasp, the air lodged in his throat. Thin, pale fingers grasped for strands of dirty blonde hair, oily and thin in his hand. Tears trailed down his cheek, falling rapidly, pooling onto the skin of his partially clothed legs. His nails dug into his scalp, attempting to ground himself in a reality he could no longer sense. Sounds were absent, all he could do was feel.
Dim green eyes closed, his face scrunching as he let out a choked cough, the sob never making its true appearance in his attempt to maintain some semblance of quiet, lest the other two find him awake and in this state. They would never understand. The overwhelming pressure of it all, of his pride, and of his work to keep this place their sanctuary, free from the outside world. They had built this place from the ground up, a safe place where they could rest when weary from adventure and tired of sleeping on the cold ground in front of a dying campfire.
His breathing hitched as he hiccuped, hands leaving his hair and moving to cover his mouth and muffle the sounds of his anguish. His teeth clinked together and he gritted them together harshly. Face scrunched tightly, he curled into himself further, his knees close to his chest. His baggy sweater could have covered him entirely, his frame lean from weeks of little food, hiding his lessening appetite from his friends. His eyes were squeezed so tightly shut, he swore he could see pieces of their time together.
From that very first summer they spent building, to the next where tensions had grown, his smile grew taut as he was tying masks on every morning just for it to fracture by the end of the day. His friends, their eyes had dimmed as they watched him, his ego and mouth leading to the fractures that spiraled through their bonds, the very foundation of the house.
He threw his head back into the wall with a dull thud, hands moving to grasp at the carpet below, loose strands gathering in his grip. A soundless scream was made as he opened his mouth to gasp quietly for breath before lurching forward to grasp his hair again.
He had stood by and watched, an outsider, as his mind began to take over, feeling less and less of himself as time passed. Soon, the mask had corrupted and cracked, the once flawless smile now shattered and broken, only a small line remained of what he once had been. His mind felt like a ravine, spiraling downwards with no end in sight.
With every interaction, he pushed them farther away the further he fell into oblivion. Now, there was almost no light in his mind, the only shred of himself being that cracked mask with the half smile. Even the eyes looked fake, staring back at him as though a reflection of his own soulless self. His body shook and his hands trembled as he moved to rest them on his knees, pushing back against the wall.
Every word he had spoken since strapping on that fake smile felt unnatural, yet all too real. His snarky remarks on the neighboring nation, on the puny children founding it, sent shockwaves through his friends, unaccustomed to his biting words. Those were the first fissures in their home's foundation. It had only spiraled further, every action he took, no matter how he felt as though it wasn't his own, saw each crack splitting and separating, soon covering the entirety of the very support of the house.
The further he spiraled, the more wind that blew, chipping the exterior and shaking the logs at the corners. The wood stripped down, just as he felt his mind stripping himself bare, his only desire being to regain control. Control over himself, possibly. Control over everything, most definitely. The strings he felt attached to him were growing frailer with every moment he held that mask to his face, and he could feel them snapping with every second.
These strings held him up, holding him hostage within his own mental cavern, suspended over the dark ravine. As they snapped, his hold grew weaker, and soon he was falling.
He spiraled downwards, losing sight of the light and dangling fragments of the strings that once held him. Now all he felt was free.
But freedom came with a price.
They had stopped talking to him, eyeing him with caution and watching warily from the sidelines. He swore he was fine. But maybe fine wasn't the right thing to say.
They watched as he tore himself down, only to hide it all behind a cracked smile. Never once questioning the smile they had seen him put on so many times, never wondering if it was anything but fake. They watched as he faltered, their attempts at helping fell upon deaf ears that could no longer listen to anything but the voice inside his head telling him to leave them behind, that he didn't need them to be free. Free from restraints and conforming to one's expectations. He had nothing, but freedom, without them.
Tonight was a confirmation of that fact. As he spiraled downwards, the light fading as he fell through black nothingness with no sense of time or reality, they never came. Not a knock or sound from anywhere in the ragged house. As his breathing slowed, he closed his eyes for a moment, feeling himself find sanctuary in the everpresent falling sensation within his mind. He slid the cracked mask on, the fractured smile and soulless eyes telling it all. He smiled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey y'all! I apologize for being so absent recently, I've been incredibly busy and stressed out with life, so writing was pushed to a bit of a back burner. I am participating in NaNoWriMo this year, working on three different books to hopefully keep my inspiration flowing, so two of those will hopefully be put out before the end of the year. I hope that my absence will be shorter, and I hope you all have a great rest of your week!