Too Late - Lashton AU

11

As the week progresses, Luke does everything he can to get Ashton to trust him, and he thinks it's beginning to work.

Ashton is talking more, stumbling over his words less. He's nowhere near as scared, but he's still reluctant to tell Luke anything personal. All Luke has managed to figure out is that he used to play the drums, he loves Blink-182 and All Time Low, and he likes to sing when he's alone because he doesn't think he's any good at it.

It's Friday after school when Luke decides to head over to Ashton's house. He knocks on Ashton's front door, quickly sorting his hair before the door opens. Luke grins at Ashton who stares at him blankly, apparently confused.

Luke rolls his eyes - Ashton can be so oblivious. "Can I come in?" he asks.

Ashton's eyes widen and he nods, stepping to the side to let Luke come in. "Yeah. Sorry. Come in."

Luke walks inside, hearing the door click shut behind him. He turns to face Ashton, who has his hands hidden in his sleeves and is staring at the ground.

"My mom's not home," Ashton tells him. "She's working late."

"That's cool," Luke says. He plops himself down on one of the sofas. "We can have fun without her."

There's an awkward silence. Ashton shuffles from foot to foot, watching as Luke stares up at the roof.

Eventually, he sighs. "Not to be rude or anything, but why are you here?"

Luke shrugs even though he knows exactly why he's here. He turns his head just slightly to look up at Ashton, his head still resting against the back of the sofa. "I was lonely."

Ashton sits next to him and Luke wraps his arms slowly around the boy's waist, pulling him closer. It's still surprising that Ashton doesn't flinch away from him, but it does fill him with this unexplainable warmth and he smiles.

"Do you trust me?" he asks, trying his best to keep his voice quiet and level.

Ashton sighs after a moment and shrugs his shoulders. "I... I don't know," he admits. "I want to, and I- I feel like I can. But... I've never had someone I could trust before, so I... I just don't know how."

Luke hesitates. Is it too soon to ask? If Ashton isn't ready, he might just freak him out and ruin everything he's been building over the week. "Do you mind if I ask you something?" he asks before he convinces himself not to.

Ashton tenses a little, Luke feels it. "It would depend on what it was, but... I guess so."

Luke nods and pulls his arms away from Ashton. He turns to face him and Ashton does the same. Luke sees him swallow.

"I wanted to know... why I'm kept up at night by you crying," Luke says. He knows immediately that he shouldn't have brought it up by the way that Ashton's face falls. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I want you to know you can trust me. I won't judge you." Ashton stays silent, staring down at his hands and it's like he doesn't know what to say. Luke bites his lip. He really should have waited. "Ash, seriously. It's okay. Just tell me whenever you're ready, okay?"

Ashton's smile when he looks back up is small but it's reassuring. He stands, desperate to change the subject. "Are you hungry? We have plenty of food."

Luke nods and follows Ashton to the kitchen.

"What do you want?" Ashton asks, pulling open the fridge door.

Luke peers inside and pulls out a jar of sauce. He spends a moment reading the label. "Do you have pasta? I could make some," he decides. He's not afraid to make himself at home in other people's houses.

Ashton retrieves a bag of pasta shells from the cupboard and hands them to Luke, who grins in return. As Luke prepares everything Ashton turns back into the living room. He sifts through his films and decides on The Hangover to watch.

When he returns to the kitchen he finds Luke at the stove, swaying slightly to a song that he's quietly humming. Ashton leans against the doorway and smiles fondly.

He truly is beginning to think that this is someone he can trust.

~

"You're not hungry?"

Ashton glances at Luke in surprise. Even with a still-full bowl of pasta sitting on the table, he's surprised that Luke has noticed. No one ever seems to notice how little he eats.

That's just because no one cares.

Ashton winces at his own thoughts. Even though he already knows those things, sometimes they hurt just a little more than other times.

So he shakes his head. Luke frowns, eyeing him warily. He's underweight, sure, but that's probably because of a fast metabolism. "You're eating properly, right?" He's well aware that he sounds like a mother - his mom is a nurse, after all - but Ashton never eats much for lunch, either. Maybe he just eats at dinner and Luke is just never around to see that.

Ashton stiffens, though, and that isn't a good sign.

"Ash, you can tell me," Luke continues, even though he's not sure what there would be to tell.

"I'm fine," is all Ashton says, but his quickened breathing tells Luke otherwise.

"You're hyperventilating," Luke points out, as if Ashton is unaware, his own voice shaking. He bites his lip, trying to think but everything his mother has ever taught him completely disappears from the logical part of his brain. If Ashton truly is fine, then he wouldn't be reacting like this. He wouldn't be freaking out at such a simple question. "Is there- Is there something going on?"

Ashton pulls his knees tight to his chest, in a way that Luke knows must be hurting his ribs. "Nothing is going on."

"Then why are you freaking out?" Luke is pushing too hard, he knows, but he's worried. He's always worried but there's always something to be worried about, isn't there? And now there's this. And Luke can't help it - he's thinking of the worst-case scenario. Ashton is underweight, and he's not eating, and he's trying to pretend he's okay - those are telltale signs of an eating disorder. "Ash, do you-"

"Get out!"

Ashton shoves at Luke and his desperation actually takes Luke by surprise. He's far too stunned to argue as Ashton pushes him out of the front door.

"Just go away!"

"Ash-"

But the door slams shut before he can get the words out. Ashton collapses against the door and slides down it, onto his knees. He's begging in his head, please don't go, please don't go, please don't go.

And Luke doesn't. He walks over to the steps and sits, waiting for Ashton to open the door, if he ever does. And if that doesn't happen, his mom will be home eventually so Luke will get inside no matter what.

Luke is going to stop at nothing to help Ashton. There are clearly a lot of things affecting the boy, a lot of which he's too scared to share, and he needs help. Luke has never felt like this for someone before. He has no clue what he's doing, but he will figure it out.

He's the only person trying.

*

edit january 10th 2021: this has been intensely edited and is hopefully a little more believable than when fourteen-year-old me wrote it lmao