Broken Soul (A Kurt Cobain Fanfic)

Why Are You Doing This?

Kurt was banging on my door four hours after he boarded the plane. My face was still nearly blood red and puffy from all my screaming and sobbing.

"Are you okay? What do you need me to do?" asked Kurt erratically.

"Please sit down. We need to talk about a few things," I quivered.

We sat down on the couch and didn't even turn on any background noise so we sat in silence for a few minutes. Tears rolled down my face as I looked at him. I didn't know what to say, but I could tell my tears told him what needed to be said.

"I need you to say it, honey," Kurt whispered. He hugged me tight which made me cry harder.

"I-I-I want y-you to s-stop d-d-drinking and d-d-doing h-heroin," I stutter. "I-I'm stopping drinking too so I can help you through this, I can't help you with heroin though."

"I understand and I will. But this is my problem, not yours, why are you not drinking anymore?" he asked.

"Because I love you and I want to help you. I need you in my life, if I lose you I will die," I say.

"Amy, that's so sweet but this is not your problem, you have no reason to quit drinking, you didn't cause any problems with your drinking, I did. I ruined our relationship once and nearly did it the same way and blamed the alcohol and you the first time and then the second time, I blamed the alcohol and acted like it was no big deal. I love you and I can't lose you again," Kurt said. I felt his lips moving on my forehead when he said that.

"I just want to be a good influence," I whispered.

"I know," he whispered back. Then he said something I didn't expect. "Maybe we should break up for a while. I don't want to do this but I think it's best for now,"

"W-w-what? Why are you doing this?"

"It's just until I get my shit figured out and I'm a year clean," Kurt said, trying to calm me down.

"Kurt, you're gonna need help! I'll be there for you, just don't do this!" I shriek, hiding my face behind my hands.

He took my hands into his and told me that everything was going to be okay and that I would be alright without him. I knew I wasn't going to be okay, it was three months until December and that's when I'd want him around the most. Since Mom's death I've been lonely during the holiday season and no one could come and be there with me.

"Please, Amy, for me. I promise I'll call, visit, whatever you need from me I'll do, just let me have a year to figure everything out," Kurt begged.

"Okay," I whispered.

"Okay," he repeated as he left my house.

Once I saw his car pull out of my driveway, I screamed. The immense pain was too much to bear. I didn't think I'd ever feel this way again. He opened up old wounds and created more. The screaming and sobbing lasted for an hour and a half.

"What the fuck just happened?" I asked myself when I had calmed down. "I need to call EJ."

I ran to the kitchen to grab my phone and just as I grabbed it, an unknown was calling me. This number has never called me before so I'm just confused. I answer the call and it's Dave. He's never called me so I'm so concerned and confused.

"Hello?"

"Amy? Is that you? I have to tell you something important," Dave said.

"Hi Dave, What's up?"

"Kurt just got back to Seattle and he's like sobbing saying that you two broke up. I think he took a lot of heroin because he's seeming kinda out of it all," explained Dave.

"It's not that I don't care about him but he left so he could stop drinking and doing heroin," I reply.

"I understand but he's quickly sinking without you- oh shit he overdosed!" Dave shrieked.

"Holy- get him to a hospital, I'll be there as fast as I can!" I yelled into the phone just before hanging up.

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Kurt's POV

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What did I just do? Why did I just break up with her when I just said that I couldn't lose her again? As soon as I backed out of her driveway I started to cry. It went from silent tears to sobbing, ugly sobbing, and then screaming. The small oak box that held my syringe and heroin in it was just sitting on the passenger's seat, her seat. I pulled over, opened the box, filled a syringe with heroin, and stuck it in my arm. By the time I injected all the heroin in my body I realized I accidentally injected too much. I sped back to Seattle and made it to Dave's just in time because I was starting to be really out of it.

Five minutes after I showed up I heard Dave call someone. He sounded frantic so I couldn't tell who he was calling. That's when it all went black. The extra heroin was kicking in and would soon take my life.

Short chapter, I know and I'm sorry but I ran out of ideas for this chapter :,(

But on the bright side I'm publishing again!