One Shots Yelena/Kate/Natasha

Starving

Warnings: Sh, drunk and eating disorder.
If you are struggeling with one (or more) of these things, maybe you should leave and read another story. Smile and remainder: you deserve ro eat! Have a great day!
Xx
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'Hi honey!' 'Hi!' When you're coming home, you walk into Nat who's cooking dinner. You start to panic when you only think about you need to eat. She turns around with a smile and reach her hands out to me for a cuddle. I dont make any move towards her and we stand there, a little akward. 'You, dont want a cuddle?' She asks with pain in her voice. I nod 'Im sorry honey, im not in that mood. I just wanna sleep.' I see her smile drip of her face and i immidently hate myself. I just want to be so fast as possible out of the smell of high calorie food. 'Can I join you tonight?' She ask, hoping for a cuddle night. I hate myself for dissaponting her again, but I have to go before is start to trow up. 'No, Im sorry baby, I just need some time for myself.' And I run up the stairs to my room were I close the door and run to the bathroom. I fall down on my knies on the bathroomfloor, trowing up the little bit of food i had today. 'Ms. Y/n do you want me to get one of the members of the avengers?' 'Thanks FRIDAY, but im okay. Would you please lock the door?' 'Already done Ms Y/n.' 'Thank you'. I walk back to my room and pull out a loose floorboard nearby my bed, and pull out a dark red notebook and a bottle of vodka. I've got a little stock for when thing get hard, just to escape from my own mind and toughts. I put the floorboard back on place, and fall into my bed. 'FRIDAY, can you please put on some random teenager mooie please?' I ask to FRIDAY while im open the bottle and take a sip. 'Yes Ms Y/n, do you prefer Mean Girls or Ginny and Georgia?' 'Ginny and Georgia please.' And while I were watching Ginny and Georgia, the bottle of vodka became emtyer and emtyer. When there was no drop of vodka in anymore, I trew it at the ground and started to write in the dark red notebook.
I think Nat is mad at me. I told her i didnt want a hug. I just didnt want to let her feel how fat i am. She was cooking and i just panict by thinking that i had to eat that. Or not that, that i had to eat ANYTHING. Besides I am probelly drunk, but i didnt forget my problems so i think, i should drink some more. Maybe Tony has something. Wait, let me check.
I close the notebook and sneak out of my bed, trough the door, and then down the stairs, around the corner, were Tony hides the alcoholin a closet for his parties. Shit, you need a key. Wait, maybe you can open it with bobby pins. After struggeling 5 mins I hear a 'click' and the closet door opens. I making a big splash in the stock but honestly, I dont really care. I mean Tony has enough money, and hoever he love to give me some, I dont think I can come in with so much alcohol, without geting at least one question like 'Are you okay?'. I just collapse on the sofa, contine the drinking. After a lot of alcohol I start to dance on music only I can hear, and before I know it, Im standing with a knife in my hands. Suddently you start to cry, and feeling like before the drinking. That is not how you wanted to feel, so you take a sip of gin this time. But the alcohol cant take youre pain away from you. So you try the knife. Maybe the knife can stop youre hurting. I set the blade on my skin and start to cut. It helps. It still hurts, but this pain is tolerable. Suddently you hear footstaps coming down the stairs. 'FRIDAY, could you please lock the door?' You whisper. 'Yes Ms Y/n,' FRIDAY whispers back. As fast as you can, you put the bottles with still something in it, in a bag together with the knife, and you hide behind the sofa. Someone fumbles with the doorhandle. Than the door opens with a hard swing, and in the doorway stands Bucky. With one look on the mess of emty bottles and blood, he knows something is wrong. 'Hello? Is here someone?' Im holding my breath so he at least cant hear me. After convensing himself no one is here, he walks out to search in the rest of the tower. After a few more minutes I dicide that I maybe should walk back to my room, before someone acctually finds me. After tripping at least tree times while walking upstairs, you are finelly in youre room. When I swing the door open I see Bucky sitting on my bed, reading in my dark red notebook. He turns his head to my face, with tears in his eyes. Than he notices the cuts in my arm and the bag with bottles. 'You were the one that made such a mess downstairs, are you?' I nod. Bucky stands up to hug you, but you dont want him to feel how fat you are, so you walk in a big circle around him and fall down on youre bed. 'Why did you cut Y/n?' 'Because the alcohol didnt work.' 'I know, are you ever gonna tell me for what the alcohol didnt help?' 'Maybe, but now I have a headatche, so if you would leave please?' 'Did you clean the cuts?' I shake my head. 'Would you like me to clean them for you?' I nod. After cleaning and bandage then Bucky walks towards the door, but when he's on the half he turns around, because he had forgetten something: 'How much did you eat today?' He ask, seing how bad the effect of the alcohol is. 'I did eat,' I say, trying to avoid the real question. 'That wasnt the question honey, how mutch did you eat?' 'Enough.' He comes sitting on youre bed, when he sees your laxatives standing in youre nightstand. 'Y/n, do you use these?' You hear the fear in his voice, so you lie: 'No i dont, these are from... someone else.' 'Youre sure?' He ask, not believing you. 'Im sure, but could you please leave now?' He nods, but before he leaves, he took your dark red notebook with him.
Next Day
You woke up with a huge headache, so you walk to your bathroom, and open the little closet above your sink. It has a dubble wand, that Tony made in it when you joind the Avengers, to hide your meds for anxiety and sleeppills from the other Avengers. Especialy for Nat and Wands, who came over in your room a lot. Now you hide not only meds for anxiety and sleep there, but also for deppression and panic attacks. Also for things like head- and stomachadches. After taking your daily meds and putting on some joggings, and a oversized hoodie you walk down stairs to go train. Its almost 7am, so the other Avengers are probelly training to. So instead of going to the normal trainingsplace, you went to the secret one, that Tony build so you could first train alone, for you would join the Avengers. No one knows about it, apart from you and Tony, so its save to train there without anyone looking at you. You ask FRIDAY to soundproof the room so you could turn your music at a high volume, without anyone will notice that youre here. You start with lifting weights, after that you run and do some stretch and abdominal exercises, before you start lifting again. After two houres you music stops, and you check whats going on. You listen the whole playlist, and the wole playlist is 5 and a half houres. Its almost half past twelve. You sneak to youre room to change your bandages and put on some another joggings and hoodie. You walk downstairs to make up with Natasha, but when you walk in the kitchen searching for her, you walk into a meeting from the other Avengers.

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Hope you liked this one. Do you want a part two?