Just Like Shug

2

There was something off about Lilly Widimer. Asha wasn't sure if it was the smile that never seemed to leave the tall girl's lips or the way she couldn't handle keeping eye contact with those brown eyes decorated with perfectly applied sharp tyrian purple eyeliner. Lilly just seemed unreal. Asha didn't know how to handle it.

Since the move-in day, Asha found herself listening for when her neighbor's door opened, memorizing the perfect amount of steps and the ding of the elevator so she could avoid another accidental interaction. She had almost wished she could get a hold of Lilly's schedule, so she could carefully coordinate the best times to successfully avoid her. Asha just couldn't handle how she made her feel. Her stomach always seemed to jump and she could feel the heat start to rise in seconds. The unease was almost too much to bear and the weekly BIPOC collective meetings at the Cultural House sometimes felt like an hour too much, so Asha spent as much time at her student job as possible and hoped her concerned supervisor wouldn't kick her out.

Asha huffed in frustration as she sat in the student office watching the time go by. She had already finished all of her tasks and homework and had been stalling to get lunch until she knew the crowds had died down in the dining hall.

"You still here?" a voice with a hint of depth asked.

A swiveled in her chair to greet her supervisor, Ger, with hair bright as an orange tennis ball on a summer's day.

"Why would I ever want to leave this wonderful workplace of mine?"

"Uh, because you have a life." they said with a snort and crossed their arms, "Or am I giving you too much credit?"

Asha rolled her eyes, "Uh, I do have a life. It's just not as quiet as I'd like it to be right now."

"Oh, I see. The whole dorm situation you're unjustifiably annoyed about."

Asha raised her arms, "Hey it's not unjustified!"

"Everything you describe to me doesn't make it seem like Shug is an annoying neighbor. She's just nice and wants to be friends with you. I've spoken to her before and she seems super sweet."

"Yes, but she's also known for being a-"

Ger cut her off, knowing what was coming, "Hey, hey we don't slut shame and definitely not in this department. Why do you care anyway? It's college. That's what most people do at this stage. Explore their sexuality and have a good time. Don't be judgemental and check your straight privilege babes."

Asha's cheeks tinted in embarrassment, "I didn't mean to be, I'm sorry. It seriously has nothing to do with how many women she sleeps with. I just feel I don't have to be friends with everyone just because they're nice. I wish she'd just accept that."

Ger gave her a skeptical look. They were quite sure if Asha even had friends at this point. She was always spending more time in this unpleasantly empty department building than anywhere else. They just wanted her to socialize, but they had to keep up the work boundaries.

"Well to each their own, I guess, but I will start kicking you out of here if need be. No more than 8 hours in this place unless you bring a friend with you outside of that, you hear me?"

Asha nodded in defeat and checked the time. The cafeteria should have been through the rush right now, so she could dip in and dip out if she needed to. She packed up her belongings and said her goodbyes before heading over to the only cafeteria available on their small campus. It had to be the thing Asha hated second to the lack of awareness from most students around her. That's why the two combined sent Asha into a state of distress. She couldn't stand overhearing table talk from her fellow students that either revolved around sex, jokes about suicide, or political discourse that phased someone with a body like hers into nonexistence. The thought made her nauseous and she barely had a friend who could distract her while trying to get her hands on overcooked rigatoni with oversalted red sauce.

Asha devised a plan that would get her out of the cafeteria in a matter of 15 minutes. Grab a to-go box, get in line, obtain sustenance, fill her bag with 3 vegan brownies, and run. It would be swift and easy. No stress. No worries. Except that was never the way it went for Asha. Something always had to go wrong and this time it came in the form of an insanely pretty, tall girl who Asha had almost been relieved that she'd managed to avoid all day. What was worse was that the ice cream Asha decided to grab last minute –deviating from the plan– had been all over the dark green corduroy vest that Lilly was wearing.

"Fuck. Sorry." Asha said, quickly grabbing napkins from the basket that was sitting on a table beside them to wipe the ice cream off. Her face paled a bit when she noticed that the ice cream was only spreading and Lilly held her hand to stop her.

"Hey, it's alright. I'm more disturbed by the fact that I never heard you say fuck before," Lilly joked to try and calm Asha, which seemed to work. It wasn't actually the curse that caught Lilly off guard, but more so Asha looking frazzled. Lilly had always known the girl to keep her cool, and never seen her out of composure.

"My bad. I should've been looking where I was going."

"It's cool. It's laundry day anyway. You alright?"

Asha was taken aback by the question. She wasn't the one that had chocolate vanilla swirl all over her, but for once she decided to be honest. Asha hoped it would get her out of there faster.

"I just, uh, hate coming in here. It's a bit loud and –I don't know– a sensory overload."

Lilly nodded, "I know what you mean. Well really don't worry about the ice cream. I don't want to hold you here, so just enjoy your lunch, okay?"

It was that that scared Asha the most. Lilly was just too nice. Too cool. Too pretty. It was hard to avoid someone who was so fucking likable. Why did she even want to stay away from the only person who didn't care about her background or relationships? Lilly never failed to shoot her a smile showcasing a slightly crooked tooth that Asha always almost failed to melt at. It was warm and drew attention to her two-toned lips coated in Fenty Beauty lip oil. But Asha had already resolved not to get too close because she'd end up in the same situation as she did 4 years ago. Liking someone and giving people even more ammunition against her. Another target on her back was the last thing she wanted. So, Asha thanked Lilly and briskly hurried off as fast as she could. She learned two things from that interaction. 1. Asha would never deviate from her plan again. 2. Lilly Widimer catching Asha off guard is not allowed.