"She's coding, what happened!!"
Harry is yelling as Cisco scrambles to get you out of the chamber. The second they open it, you hunch forward and he catches you, securing a hand under your legs to carry you over to the med area.
Caitlin is quick to slip on gloves and Barry looks close to tears.
"Y-You have to help her please!!"
They're all in a panic. Because the instant Cisco places you on the bed, your body begins to seize. You're convulsing and Cisco takes a step back. Caitlin isn't sure what move to make. She hadn't even had a chance to run an IV.
Harry grits his teeth.
"Barry, you need to shock her. "
He turns to him, scared.
"I-I can't, that could kill her."
"If we do nothing she's going to die! You have to shock her. She was connected to the speed force. Regardless of which one, she's a speedster. We have to do this now before her heart stops."
Barry is uncertain for obvious reasons, but the alternative is much more frightening.
"Okay, okay I'll do it."
Barry moves closer, rubbing both of his hands together to gather friction. The small sparks ignite in his palms and he closes his eyes as he presses it to your chest. Your body jolts, and he lowers his head.
Your body finally goes still, and they all pause. Barry draws his hands away shakily.
You're no longer moving. You don't appear to be breathing either. He takes a step back.
"I..killed her.."
Your chest isn't moving and this time Barry is unable to stop the tears.
He clutches his hair. Just as they seem to lose hope, you shoot upright, breathing heavily.
Their eyes widened and Barry practically raced to your side. You're a bit disoriented, clearly confused on why Barry is holding on as if you'll disappear.
"Barry?"
Your breathing has leveled and both Cisco and Caitlin smile. Harry places his hand on a nearby table, taking a breath.
"What happened?"
They aren't really sure where to start.
Caitlin took the necessary precautions and you'd promised to report any abnormalities. Barry was reluctant to leave your side. But you insisted. When Iris came to get him, she gave you the biggest hug.
"Thank you..for coming back."
That's what she said.
Those years were hard. You knew she saw that look Barry wore when he thought they'd lost you all over again. It was painful.
Lately, that seems to be the only word that is associated with you.
When it gets dark, it's just you and your thoughts. Everyone has turned in. You aren't even sure why you're still there. Maybe the hope is that you'll somehow understand why everything went so wrong in your life.
"It's good that you're recovered."
You're so out of it that you hadn't even heard Harry walk into the cortex.
The moment your eyes land on him, the pain that was once linked with that face, it doesn't even feel present. That memory, it might have given you the closure you needed in some weird way.
Your eyes move to the computers.
"I saw him. When I was unconscious. It was a memory of the both of us. I think the first time I admitted to him how I felt."
Harry listens, taking in the solemn smile on your lips.
"Back then everything was so black and white. There were good guys and bad guys. Now everything is just so messy. Nothing is what I thought it was."
Your eyes drift to your palm.
"The negative speed force is gone. I hoped it would feel different but I'm not even sure what I feel right now. There's no hate, anger or resentment. This is what I wanted. So why do I still feel..empty.."
When the tears start, he understands. He can't hope to fully grasp what you've been through, but he understands. Harry moves closer, and your shoulders shake. You're no longer trying to stifle your cries. You wail. All the pent up emotions that you've been carrying are being released. The second he's next to you, he pulls you into his arms and you just hold on, clutching his shirt.
"I loved him.."
You continue to weep.
I loved him so much.."
Harry nods
"I know."
He strokes your head, and you both stand there. He knows that you need this, so he'll do what he can to provide the comfort that you never allowed yourself to feel.
"I know."
