Abstraction (Jax x Reader)

3: Abstraction?

Y/n kept thinking about Jax. She doesn't like being around him but at the same time...he makes her feel real.

Maybe it was because it reminds her of her life before she got here. She doesn't remember much, but she remembers it was pretty bad.

Since she can't speak, all she does is think. You would think it would make her crazy but it actually helps her to a certain extent.

Y/n'a thoughts got interrupted once she ran into Kinger.

"AHH! Hello."

Y/n waved.

"How are you liking it here? Don't tell me, did you go crazy!" He looked distressed.

Y/n made a "ehh" face, using her hand to make "somewhat".

Before Kinger could answer a scream was heard, followed by him screaming.

Why are you screaming? She raised an eyebrow.

The screams and cry's for help didn't stop, Kinger followed the screams, with Y/n following behind him.

Pomni was beating her head against the wall, screaming how much she wants out of here and that it's driving her crazy. Y/n's eyes widened and she slowly gotten closer to Pomni. Although she doesn't know much about her, simply because she can't talk to learn more about people, she wanted to her help her.

Caine teleported to the scene, grabbed Pomni as she was still screaming bloody murder, and left again in a split second.

Y/n looked at Kinger eyes wide open, "Oh yeah, whenever somebody mentions how much they want to leave, or starts having a crisis, they go to this colorful padded room and have activities to prevent you from goikg insane, as well as Caine being your therapist!" He proudly said.

Y/n pointed at him, eyebrow cocked. "I've been in there multiple times, and it seems to work! Only temporarily." He quietly said the last part, but then perked up. "But! It's great to have so it can prevent us from abstracting."

Abstracting? Is this the whole part about keeping sane? She wanted to ask questions but doesn't know how. She sighed and was trying to come up with a way to ask.

She waved her arms around and then shrugged, mentally asking "What's abstracting?"

"It's where a person goes crazy and abstracts. It happened to our good friend recently." Kinger didn't exactly answer her questions. "Oh god!" He wailed. Y/n patted his back, Guess he misses his friend.

Kinger calmed down, "You're right you're right, there's nothing we can do."

Y/n did the motion again from before.

"Basically when a person abstracts, they turn into this weird, glitchy monster with eyes all over. They usually attack us out of anger."

Y/n tilted her head, and scratched the side of it to indicate she's saying, "What happens to them?"

"Caine usually puts them in the cellar, but we don't know if they're aware what's happening or if they're in a coma of some sort. Caine usually never tells us."

Y/n wanted to know more, this might help her escape for good. She shrugged her shoulders, indicating "How?"

It took Kinger awhile to figure out what she was trying to say, "Exisitial crisis, giving up, showing signs of going insane, etc. etc."

Y/n's eyes widened, she felt she knew exactly on how to escape these feelings that she felt before she got here. It's not like she wanted to "die," it was more of she wanted to stop having these feelings of dread, guilt, uneasiness, and loneliness. Y/n is actually pissed off that those feelings before she got here lingered to this digital world.

But she's debating wether or not to go through with it because she doesn't know exactly what would happen to her. Will she be in constant pain? Conscious? Or is it like death? Y/n wanted to make sure exactly what would happen before she could actually go through with it.

Kinger stared at her, he felt some anxiety watching her think, he had a feeling what she was thinking about. "You okay there?"

Y/n broke out of her thoughts and looked up at him, she nodded her head and then waved bye to him before she walked away.

She didn't know who to even ask about this. She would ask Caine, but at the same time she doesn't exactly trust him.

Y/n overheard Ragatha talking to Gangle about the most recent one that got abstracted, Kaufmo. Apparently Ragatha, Pomni, and Jax was the ones who first found him, in his room abstracting.

Y/n definitely didn't want to deal with Jax, Pomni is still in that padded room receiving help, so Y/n walked around trying to find Ragatha.

Eventually she found the doll, and tapped her shoulder.

"Oh hey Y/n! What's going on?" She smiled.

Y/n took her hand and started walking to the rooms, looking for the clown face.

"Whoa where are we going?"

Y/n looked back at her and pointed to her mouth.

"Oh right...you can't talk. Sorry about that."

Y/n waved it off and stopped in her tracks once she saw his face, but it was X'd out.

Ragatha let go of Y/n's hand, her breathing stopped and touched his face with her doll-like hand.

"Why did you drag me out here?" Her voice trembled. Y/n felt bad bringing her out, she knew that it was going to be a touchy subject for everyone because it happened so recently.

Y/n pointed at his face, and then made the universal symbol for, "Crazy", by swirling her finger in a circle where her temple is, and then put her hands out, indicating, "What happens when they're crazy?"

Y/n hates miming, she thought it was stupid and a nuisance, but she secretly thanks god that none of them are stupid.

"Oh! Uh...well...I assume you know about abstraction, but basically they go into this weird state. I witnessed it first hand and could definitely say that Kaufmo wasn't all there. It's hard to explain, like he was there, but something took over him to make him so...aggressive. Whenever we were friends he wasn't ever aggressive, to anybody. He was so sweet and—..." Ragatha started to tear up, but quickly wiped her tears away. "Why are you asking?"

Y/n froze, eventually she just shrugged her shoulders and then put her hands together as if she was praying, but used it for "thank you."

"Yeah sure...no problem."

Ragatha felt concerned for Y/n, usually people wouldn't ask questions like these. But Ragatha moved past that and just assumed that Y/n was worried about it happening to her.

However that wasn't the case. Y/n wanted out. Not out of this circus, out of this life. She tried her hardest, trying to remember what happened to her, how did she get here? Why does she still feel so alone? Uneasy? Depressed? She figured if she's already like this, then maybe it wouldn't be too hard to abstract.

She just gotta let herself go insane without anyone noticing.

~~~
oh yeah this story might be long 💀 def slow burn