"When things go back to normal I wish I am already dead" is the first few words that came to my mouth when I realized that everyone of my siblings are favored but not me at first I thought it's because I'm the only girl in the family with four talented brothers but today I found out why,
When me and my cousin was chatting she told me she overheard our aunt talking about me, about why would my mother turn her anger and frustration on me my cousin didn't get much information but the next day when I told my mom about why she never yelled or punishes my older brother and after that incident my mother tried to give me love by asking me what I want to buy or eat of course I didn't buy their stupid acts but still (wish it wasn't) almost every night I would go to the toilet and do a very painful but silent cry every night I would let my anger out quietly because I didn't want them to ask questions,
And the sports day is coming, I plan on participating Arnis and Volleyball at the same time but the parents won't let me leave the house for anything even if ots reasonable or important, even so I tried convincing my mom to let me play at least one sports and tomorrow is the final yet today I didn't even went to the meeting since my dad won't let me leave, somehow I keep following their orders but this night I just flip and yelled at them, because the team might not want me to play anymore because I didn't show up, every Christmas or on my birth, every time I get a chance to make a wish I would wish to die, because I didn't want to live behind my weak brothers who can't even fight their own bullies, I grew up trying to live when I don't have to, trying to make them proud even though they never will. So...I'm deeply...sorry for making this wish it's just hard to keep up when the things around you constantly changing
