SHTDN Week

Day 4 - Lanterns

The next file they went into was strange, even by Goyou's standards. He was walking on the surface of a something unusual to him, with every footstep sending a small ripple across its surface. He tried to ignore Agape's jokes about someone called 'Jesus' behind him.

More oddly, there were lights in rectangular boxes that lit up the small expanse of the file. Goyou stopped in front of them and knelt down, reaching a hand out to touch the closest one. The outside of the rectangle felt like paper, but it wasn't flat like the material in question.

Turning his head to Agape, he began to ask, "What are these lights? They're reflecting as if they're on water."

"You got it. This is called lantern floating. During Obon, they'll drift these in rivers or the sea to mourn the souls of the dead." To demonstrate where the scene in the file was right now, Agape flew down and splashed the water with his hand. Goyou flinched to avoid being hit with the water.

He still had more questions that the angel's answer had sprung forth. "Mourn? What kind of feeling is that? So you're saying that living humans make these and put them on water for the sake of the dead?" The antivirus picked up one of the lanterns and began to inspect it. It didn't look overly special to him.

"Yeah, basically. What kind of feeling, huh..." Agape trailed off, taking a moment to think of how to describe it. "...When living humans think of dead humans, they feel 'lonely'. But people don't all feel it the same way like they do with sadness or longing."

Goyou nodded along with the conversation, holding the lantern closer to him. When he thought of Agape's words, he wondered if he was 'lonely' without his owner coming back to the PC. He had never felt 'lonely' or knew it as a concept before, so it wasn't possible for him to understand.

"Dead humans can't make logs anymore. Their bodies are gone and nothing's left. That fact makes people really sad," the angel continued, looking over at the lanterns as he recalled human behaviour. "So that's why humans'll read old logs, remember them, and look at pictures to reminisce. Doing that makes those feelings of loneliness mix with the logs and makes them harder to understand."

"...Just like how we will, humans will all die someday, right? Doesn't that mean that humans will only get more and more lonely as time passes? If loneliness is sad, then that sounds like trouble. Do they become so full of loneliness that they can't think of anything else?" Goyou wondered as he wore a sad expression. He only hoped that his owner wasn't feeling that right now.

To his confusion, Agape just shrugged. "If you properly say 'goodbye', apparently you won't get as lonely."

"'Goodbye'? That means..." His mind drew a blank. He had never heard of that before. "Um, what does it mean?"

"It's one of humans' many greetings. I heard humans say these when coming across each other. 'Goodbye' is what they say when they part," Agape explained in a matter-of-fact way. "When humans die, they will never meet again. You could say it's their 'final parting', so they use this phrase. 'Goodbye'."

"I see... If they can't say it, they become lonely?" For a moment, Goyou pitied the humans. Their death was inevitable, and they got lonelier over time. But saying the phrase to lessen their loneliness seemed too sad for him.

"That's what it seems like. But humans will make new families and friends, and create new feelings of fun. So...well, I guess they won't stay feeling lonely all the time." The angel's words reassured Goyou, and he let out a small sigh of relief. So humans weren't always in sadness after all.

"I see..." Another question came to mind. "Does that mean that the dead humans will someday be completely forgotten? Loneliness is a feeling that is caused by remembering the dead humans, right? So if they become full of new feelings of fun and begin to lose their feelings of loneliness... Does that mean the logs have been deleted?"

"I don't think it's quite like that. No matter how far back the log is hidden, humans can still retrieve them at any time. So that's why humans only feel lonely sometimes. Not always," Agape concluded.

Goyou looked at the lanterns with an expression that Agape couldn't read. "...So when humans drift these lanterns, they're retrieving the logs. They remember the dead humans, and become 'lonely'." He knelt down and put the lanterns back where it belonged, then stood up and took a step back. "Even though it's a pretty picture, the humans would be feeling 'lonely'. How mysterious."

With those words, the antivirus continued walking along the file to get to the end. Agape's main body wasn't in this picture, and he didn't have anymore questions about this. So with Agape's shortcut flying closely behind him, he went to find the next file.

It had been a short time after he finally killed Agape's main body. He was on his own again, with no annoying angel appearing behind him and answering his questions. But even so, he still had to make his rounds of the PC to make sure no other viruses appeared on it.

On his rounds, he began reminiscing about his time with Agape - what he was taught, what they had discussed, and how they finally parted. It was over as quickly as with any of the shortcuts. There was no remaining trace of the angel except memory logs.

Goyou entered the lantern floating file, where the water under his feet rippled with every step. He remembered what Agape taught him about lanterns and loneliness, and how goodbyes can make it less sad.

"Right now, am I 'lonely'? I wonder," Goyou spoke aloud, even though no one was hearing him. He looked at the lantern he had picked up a while ago, still a bit askew where he put it down. "I don't know. You said that if you properly say goodbye, you won't feel as lonely."

"Bye bye, Goyou."

"Goodbye, Agape."

The memory was still fresh in his mind as he kept looking at the lanterns. "I said it properly... So was that wrong?"

Goyou closed his eyes and tried to focus his thoughts again. Agape wouldn't be there to teach him anymore, so his question would never get answered. It was better to just put it out of his mind, though he knew his own peace couldn't last forever.

As he turned to leave the file, he was very aware of the emptiness around him. For once, he wished that someone was following him.