I take a deep breath to steady myself. 30 seconds left. My hands tremble as I place the little rectangle box on the side, not wanting to see the answer, the thing that could change my life forever.
I glance at my watch. 20 seconds. My insides feel empty- no, they feel like they're trying to get out. I feel sick.
10 seconds. 9. 8. 7... I keep back tears, convincing myself it will be fine. But I know, really, it won't be.
I have at my watch, and steady myself against the sink. Times up. I look at my lifeline- will it have changed? If it hasn't, I will be fine. It it has... The thought nearly brings me to tears.
I have stupidly left it upside down. With shaking hands, I turn it over, and scream. Or try to. No sound is emitted. I am to shocked at what I see. It has changed. My life is crumbling around me, but only I can see it. I am not ready for this. I drop the box and fall to the ground, rocking myself back and forth.
What can I do? Sit here and cry myself to death. Yes, that option is favourable to the only other one. The tears are running fast and thick down my pale, clammy cheeks. I am sweating. I still feel sick.
I slowly, reluctantly stand. I know what I must do. And the thought terrifies me. He won't accept it. I know so. Still, I must go on with my quest.
I push the bathroom door out of the way. This tiny act takes so much effort. I look at the daunting stairs. Why hadn't I brought my phone up with me? The answer was obvious. I was so hopeful I would not need it.
I take one weak step onto the stairs. I nearly faint. My stomach is in my throat. Deep breath. Next step. Nearly fall. Deep breath. Next step. Nearly fall. I carry on this sequence.
I try to turn away from the path my feet are taking me, but they go on of their own accord. I get to the kitchen.
My hands fumble in my bag, taking out my phone. It takes me 2 goes to put in my pass code. I am shaking, my knees barely holding me up. I type in his number. It only takes one go. I press the dail button.
I take another deep breath, and wait for him to pick up.
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K... Had no idea where I was going with that one. The idea came to me last night... Just had to get it out! Thanks for reading ;-)
