Him<3 {Poetry}

English ver. <3

When you don't understand your feelings, but you really want to know how you feel about him, and what he feels about you, because he sends you mixed signals and every single signal is different, sometimes you think that he hates you and that he is horrified by you, other times you think that when he looks into your eyes he sees you through your soul.
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You think he's crazy about you when he suddenly asks you something and goes to his friend, or when his friend asks you something and his friend goes to him and they start whispering to each other.
Why does it have to be so complicated? Why do people lie? Why do people cheat? Why do people stay with someone even if they don't like them? Why can't people choose one person to love for the rest of their lives? I love him, I think he loves me.
I told him then, I said "But, I love you" and he replied with "You do?".
Is that a sign?
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Could there be something between him and me? But if something happens between us, do you think he will be able to keep that relationship? Is he going to lie to me? Is he going to ditch me? Is he going to hurt me? Is he going to look at pictures of other girls and text with other girls? Is he going to simp and flirt with other girls? If we stay together, will he love me as much as I love him?
He looks at me in class and tries to make me notice him, but I try to avoid eye contact, I don't want a bad relationship with someone I'm deadly in love with, I don't want a one-sided love relationship , I want him to be as crazy about me as I am about him.
But there's a chance he's crazy about me.
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Is it just me or does he take pictures of me and film me in class? Or am I delusional? As my sister calls me "delulu"
I want pictures of him too, but not someone who is hidden, I want pictures of him next to me.
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Is it wrong for me to like someone who has a girlfriend, because I don't really know if he has, he said he did, but a week or two later I think he tried to say he's single now, without actually saying the,
my teacher asked if he could explain what an open question is, he replied "Do you have a girlfriend? No, I don't have a girlfriend"
It is wrong, because one can answer that question with just a plain "No",
And when we had an author visit, the author told a story about her friend, it was a love story, while she was explaining how in love her friend was with a girl, I saw that he was staring at me intensely, not psychopathically intense, but deadly in love intensely.
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He sat in front of me in class, he reached far behind where I'm sitting and tried to touch me without me knowing that he was actually trying to touch me, but I knew.
He turned his head to me and smiled a little and stared at me for a few seconds with his beautiful green eyes.
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His beautiful green eyes are to die for, the green sweater he usually wears, which I love so much and wish he had given me, compliments the windows to his soul, his two beautiful green eyes, his sun kissed skincolor, which is red-ish in some places that makes me fall madly in love with him, and in gym class when he sweats because he works so hard and plays to win, it makes his skin glisten, and makes his sun kissed skin become more beautiful than ever, his curly dark hair that goes halfway down his neck, those nice curls that I want to play with, I want him to lie with his head on my lap so that I can play with his hair, and the long his neck that I want to wrap my arms around and hug as he holds me around the waist.
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When I see him coming from the subway, I want to run up to him and hug him so hard that we can't stand steady anymore, I want to hug him so hard that his vanilla smell comes over to me and is on me forever, I want to hold his arm as we walk into the school yard and I want him to be shy when his friends whistle at us and he cheers up, and I want to see his cheeks turn red from him blushing too hard when I put my hands on his chest I will feel his heart beating so loud it might pop out of his chest, I will kiss his cheek when we meet and kiss his forehead when we leave each other but that kiss is the most special , because we know we will always see each other again.
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