Book: The Five Cursed Witches: Volume 1
Username: @High_Priestess_Elena
Genre: Fantasy-romance
Story Type: Novel
Chapters read: Prologue + 3 chapters
•••
Title
It's okay but simple. I mean, this is just one of several possibilities, some of which could be a bit more unique and memorable, but I understand nonetheless if you keep this one.
Cover
Not bad, but could be loads better. The yellow font could be a bit bigger, and your username smaller. Maybe—no, definitely try experimenting with different images.
Blurb
I really liked it. It's clear, without any extra flowery words. I'm just missing the hook. Will Elena be able to...?
•••
Exposition (introduction)
Rheseis. Interesting name, and you replied to a comment saying you spent a long time searching for it. The effort is appreciated.
I also love the first paragraph. There's a twisty mix of emotion there. The girl is giggling at someone whose hands are trembling. Overall a good prologue; with conflict, questions, and a good first and last line. And best of all it's clear (though mystifying), which a lot of writers bypass in their prologue or first chapter.
I don't often read fantasy books, but a golden apple seems a bit cliché when paired with a witch. Don't you think? But, that the apple was found in the painting of a paradise is quite a nice connection, if there is actually one.
Emotional Connection
In the second chapter, I love the connection the clothes make with everything dying under her touch and her dream of running barefoot through the grass. This wish now holds so much more weight with the context. Well played. She is also being used by her coven, which can add extra fuel for her actions in the future.
Inciting Incident
I'm so glad this happens early on in the story, and perfectly plausible since it's tied to the previous events.
Conflict
Rheseis, obviously. There's some sort of conflict going on between the faeries and witches, which is already solid. Next, we have the curse on Zoe, which will play of course a huge part in the story but will remain (As it has been for the last couple of years) hidden. That is until she has to do something about it.
And then there are the death threats directed at her father, as well as the tension between her and the coven...what a nice setup! Love it.
Cliffhangers
You've definitely got something going for the prologue.
Goodness, the cliffhanger at the end of the first chapter is goose-bump-inducing. I just love how the plot is clearly well-made, as all the links suggest.
•••
Pacing & chapter length
Both pacing and chapter length are satisfactory. There is enough description to balance the exposition, and I assume there will be even more action in future chapters.
Extra tips + advice
- A formatting tip is to write the POV in bold and shift the divider to the middle of the page.
- Consider reducing passive voice, and focusing on showing more.
Really not much to add here, which is fantastic.
Final Impression
Some wonderful world-building, plot, and conflict. A lot to unpack. And going straight into my "Best book reviewed" booklist! (I just wish the cover was on par with such great work, but hopefully, we'll get that in the future ;)
YOU ARE READING
Free Book Reviews - 2023
Random✅ [OPEN] • • • I spend a lot of time reading on Wattpad. The well-written, polished books. I wouldn't touch a book with a barge pole if there's a celebrity on the cover. Nor will I continue reading a story that has typos in the first sentence. HOWE...
