24𝙃 𝙂𝙍𝙊𝘾𝙀𝙍𝙔 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙀

a night to spill hearts

          𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐲 pacing back and forth, round the store nervously, checking the same products in the same aisle over and over again. he was fidgeting and his hands shook as he grabbed a tag, putting it back on the shelf again. it wasn't an attitude or behavior shown on a daily basis from tony — he almost never paced, only when things got too boring.

          but jackie didn't think this was a matter of boredom.

          “hey, what's up?” she spoke softly, as if to not scare a timid animal found shaking on the corner of a street, lost and anxious. she walked behind the counter, set down her bag without ever averting her gaze from the young man.

          “oh? hey,” he stopped all of a sudden, as if only now noticing her arrival. he was usually aware of his surroundings. “ it's nothing, really.” then, he continued with his walking around.

          “i can tell something's bothering you.”

          tony took a deep breath, looking down as strands of his hair spilled onto his forehead. “i should've stopped him. i should've fucking stopped him.” his voice grew firmer the second time he repeated his sentence.

          “tony—” she held up her hand as if to take him by the shoulder, but he stepped backwards, leaving her arm hanging awkwardly in the air.

          “no. i should've at least tried to stop him. how could i have let him just go like that? what kind of a person am i? i should've helped him.”

          jackie knew where he was coming from. she herself had numerous questions to ask — where was he now? was he okay? — but she knew she had no right to stop him. he was a high school kid, a teenager old enough to think critically and make decisions for himself. if he ran away, he probably had a reason.

          still, maybe they could do something more and try to help him.

          but, then again, the boy did not even give them a chance, disappearing so hurriedly out into the nightly lit city.

          "it's not your fault," jackie tried to reassure her coworker, to ease his guilt.

          it wasn't often that she would see the young male in such a state; he would always look stable, confident, without a wrinkle of worry on his smooth face, he would always stand tall and straight with his broad shoulders and lean muscles, he would always look like everything's fine and going according to his plan. to see him so anxious and filled with worry was indeed concerning to say the least. it felt off for the young female to see her coworker like that — he seldomly looked out of balance, nothing could ever shook him up. at least that was the way jackie knew him.

          "he chose to go. he's old enough." but she knew she was just trying to grasp onto anything, not sure if there even was something to hold onto.

          tony stopped his pacing and gave her a look. "old enough? he was just a kid!" emotions dripped from his voice. there were no tracks of the usual tone filled with confidence, voice low and deep. now, he spoke in a more high pitched tone, a tone more alarmed and on the brink of shouting. "he doesn't know anything about the world yet, doesn't know how hard it is. it's not like just because he had a bit of money, everything was solved." his pupils dilated slightly, although it was hard to see; the dark brown often blended into the blackness in the middle of his eyes. "money. i could've at least given him some more money.

          jackie came up to him, gripping his shoulders. "tony, he isn't your kid. he isn't your brother." her tone was harsher than she had meant to make it and tony, despite himself, flinched a bit. "you don't have the right to stop that kid from doing what he wants to do. you can't do anything about his decisions." as much as it felt wrong on her tongue to say that, she knew it was the truth. as much as she wished there were something for them to do, it was the problem of the boy's parents, not theirs. besides, they haven't heard any news about any boy gone missing or running away; maybe he had returned home.

          but there was no way for them to find out, to make sure of his well being now.

          "the only thing we can do is hope he is okay."

          "sorry. i guess he just— he looked a little like my little brother, you know? and when i imagine my little brother lying somewhere next to the road, dying or already dead—"

          "tony. he isn't dead. your brother isn't dead, and the boy isn't dead, too."

          before he could open his mouth again, she stopped him. "they're alive. so don't overthink it so much."

          her coworker ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair. "i know. i know," he sighed at last. "i just can't help it."

          the young woman patted him sympathetically on the shoulder, offering him a smile. "it's okay. just don't worry about it. we have our own problems to deal with, and work to do."

          "you're right." the male disappeared into the back room, but even though he sounded like he had finally thrown the subject behind him, she couldn't help but feel worried for him, despite it were her own words telling not to worry so much. but seeing tony like that shook her up.

          she decided to open her mouth when he returned to the cashier's desk. maybe talking about it will ease his troubled mind at least a tiny bit. "do you miss your brother?"

          when he was quiet, she started to regret ever asking. she didn't know a lot about his family, but even from the little she did know, she understood it was a fairly personal topic.

          from the corner of her eye, jackie saw tony's mouth tighten, skin going paler. a determined look set in his eyes. "i do miss him," the young male admitted, "and i hate how i have no idea of what's his life like. is he doing fine? does he like it? does he— does he miss me too?"

          tony cleared his throat and looked at his feet, hair falling down onto his forehead and hiding his eyes. "i must be such a bad brother. i couldn't even save my little soosoo. i'm such a bad brother. do you think he hates me?"

          at this point, tony's hands were frustratingly pulling at strands of his hair.

          jackie rushed to the taller man, put her own hands on his shoulders to provide at least a sliver of comfort. "tony, look at me."

          she waited until his eyes found hers.

          "you aren't a bad brother. if anything, you are the best brother anyone could ever ask for, seeing how much you're worried and care for your little brother."

          tony's mouth opened as if he wanted to protest, but his coworker did not give him a chance.

          "there is nothing you can do about a court's decision. he doesn't blame you for it. i promise, he does not. and i also promise that one day, you'll be finally able to see him again."

          "promise?" tony's voice was so small and fragile jakie thought he'd break if she even breathed in his direction. but it was so hopeful, too, as if merely hearing those words from someone else were enough to give him more hope.

          and jackie was definitely there to give him that hope he so needed. "i promise," she said with a firm, unwavering voice. she was sure of it, herself.

          tony's hands found the warmth of jackie's, pulling them off his shoulders and embracing them in his own.

          "thank you."

          "always."

          and, just like that, a smile appeared on the male's face.