love me- changjin

chapter five - changbin

changbin was freaking out. he did not know what to do. he freaked out as soon as he felt hyunjins lips on him. why he freaked out? he liked it. a lot. and that's not good. he can't be in love. not right now. or ever. he did not want to be in love. especially not with him. 

he did the only reasonable thing. he called chan. 

chan hyung calling..

CHAN- hello? what's up binnie?

CHANGBIN- chan I'm freaking out, I need help.

CHAN- why what happened, what's wrong? should I come get you? 

CHANGBIN- no it's fine I think. well I don't know. I'm confused

CHAN- wait, what are you confused about? tell me the whole story please. 

CHANGBIN- alright hold on, well earlier today I met hyunjin at a cafe. we talked and he invited me to his place. and I accepted. why not right?

CHAN- hmm. right.

CHANGBIN- well we watched some movies, orders food and just talked about shit you know. as friends do. well. we just got comfy and then I looked at him and he was watching me right. so I was confused and all of a sudden he was leaning in. and I just freaked out not knowing what to do. he kissed me. and- 

changbin got quiet. he did not know how to proceed. did he tell chan he liked it? but he was confused. 

CHAN- and? binnie then what? how did you feel? 

CHANGBIN- then I pushed him away and got out. there is where we are now. and I don't know chan. i'm so confused. I did like it. but I don't like him. I don't wanna like him. I don't know what to do. why would he kiss me? i'm so confused maaaaaaan. 

chan got quiet. changbin just kept walking. he knew he would be home at some point. but he needed help on this. he really did not know what to do. and chan was the best to help with this. 

CHAN- well. binnie, I think you have a lot to figure out. I can't tell you what to do. if you wanna talk to him. you talk to him, if you don't. well don't. but you need to figure this out. because if you liked it. you need to figure it out. I'll be here, every step of the way. but I think you need to get home and sleep on this. calm down and we'll talk about in on Monday in school. take this time to rest. 

while he was listening to chan, he calmed down. chan always knew what to say. or how to help him. he should have thought of that. 

CHANGBIN- thanks chan. I needed that. I'll think about what to do. see you Monday.

CHAN- always, call me if you need me. bye man

CHANGBIN- thanks, bye. 

changbin walked home, it probably took him 30 minutes. but it was as he didn't register it. when he got home. he fell in his bed. not knowing what to do. he thought for a long time. all his thoughts tangled together. 

he eventually fell asleep. 

when he woke up the next day he felt drained. he checked his phone 3.24 pm. shit he slept the whole day. he saw that he had a lot missed texts. 

CHAN HYUNG

hey just checking up?

how you feeling?

did you figure something out? 

he sighed. he did not figure something out. and it pissed him off. he's just as confused as he was yesterday. he say that he had some other messages. but from that unknown number. 

+82 78 8933 8822

hey how are you?

you did not answer the other day :(

RUUUUDE 

anyways, are you up?

im bored. and I wanna talk to you

ig you don't wanna talk to me 

all text me sometime. bye. 

changbin shook his head. he did not want to answer. he didn't feel like it. 

for the rest of the day, he just laid in his bed. watching shit. 

he did watch this really good show, it was a k-drama. 'semantic error' it was called. sooo good. he did not expect the ending. but something felt lost. he did want that. what they had. 

changbin felt like giving up. he did not move for he rest of the day. he was in the same spot, he did not get up to eat. he did not feel like it. he felt like writing a song about his emotions and that was what he did. 

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749 words

short sorry 

well, praying skz comes to Europe soon

*crying in Swedish* 

i hate it here