𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 ⋆ 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱

2

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Growing up, my mother always used to call me sunshine. She said that no matter where I was at, or what was happening, i always found a way to lighten the mood, and that I was good at many things, but making people laugh and smile was my specialty. She told me to never let someone kill my smile, and to never stop smiling. And i listened to her, but that was before she died; The one person I had, the one person I trusted, gone.

My last memory with my mother was me trying to keep her breathing before the police got to the scene. Sometimes I think it's my fault that she died in the first place. I convinced her to come with me on my run. If I hadn't asked her to go on a run with me, she wouldn't be dead right now.

It is your fault felix.

You're the reason your mother died in front of you.

"Hurry up! I need to take a piss!" Hyunjin yelled from the other side of the door, bringing me out of my spiraling thoughts.

I groaned before splashing my face with water, and fixing my blonde hair in the mirror on last time before exiting the bathroom and watching as hyunjin ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Weird.

-

Wdnesday. Officially 3 years after my mothers death. I've decided that everything I do from now on, and until my own death, I will do for her and in honor of her.

Today I'm going to finish unpacking, though I didnt have much stuff to unpack in the first place, as I was in a rush to get out of that house.

The only thing I absolutely needed were the two framed pictures of me and my mom, and the letter she wrote to me for my graduation. I place one of the framed photos on my desk, and the other on my nightstand, before sitting on my bed and opening the letter. Maybe this will get the tears flowing again.

My dearest lix,

I'm so proud of you! I cant believe you have come this far. Do you remember the promise we made to each other when you were 10? We promised each other that once you got accepted into college, we would leave this house. We said we would run somewhere far, far away from him. Do you remember that? I'm writing you this while your on a school trip to the states, your father is on a business trip right now, so you dont have to worry. I'm getting you out of here, lix. It doesnt matter if I make it out, I will make sure you get out of this place and never look back. When your reading this, can you tell me if you're out or not? Are we in the same place right now? If we arent, are you taking care of yourself? Make sure you are looking after yourself like you look after me. You deserve the best. Congratulations on graduating, my sunshine! you are the kindest soul on earth.
I love you to the moon and
back, my sunshine. -mom

Tears were forming in my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away as I heard the doorknob twist. I folded the letter back up, and placing it on my nightstand, right beside the photo of her and I.

I miss you too, mom.

As I sit on my bed and take out my phone, pretending to do something on it, hyunjin walks in and sits on his bed, grabbing something from his pocket.

A pen.

I watch as he takes the cartridge to his mouth and slowly inhales, then takes a deep breath in before letting the smoke fill the air in front of him.

"Wanna try?" he asks without even looking in my direction. I quickly look away and focus my eyes back to my phone.

"No"