Always | EVERLARK Hunger Games | 2023

4- It Could Never Overcome

The phrase "Let's talk" is never one that you want to hear, especially when the speaker has a stern expression on their face, and in this case, a cat on his lap. In that moment, I would rather curl up into a ball in my new and dry clothes, nearest to the fire and get a full rest than talk through my feelings—I had nothing going on inside of me that I could put into words, and more importantly, nothing I wanted Peeta to worry about.

Silence filled the room as I waited for him to speak again—he would eventually have to, since I was not going to be the one to start talking. He gazed into my eyes, his baby blues striking but soft. By the look on his face, I could tell he was not going to break.

"I..." I began, breaking eye contact. "I don't know what you want to talk about."

He sighed, sounding disappointed in my reply. I felt a shred of guilt, there was no reason to play dumb. "I haven't seen you in months, Katniss. Not even Haymitch would tell me what was going on."

Haymitch never broke his promise. It relieved me to hear that he kept his word, but pained me for Peeta's sake at the same time.

"I just needed time to think. So much happened, Peeta—"

"You're not the only one who went through hardships." he interrupted. "You left me alone with no one to talk to...for months."

Although he was now scolded me, his face never changed from the concerned expression he wore on his tensed brow. He cared a lot to help me, but never got the chance to. I know it pained him, I could see it in his eyes.

"I know. I just didn't want you to see me this way when you have your own feelings to worry about."

He scoffed, taken aback by what I had said as if it was the most shocking thing in the world. "You know, I still get flashbacks. Every day. I know you get them too, there's no way you don't. If you think hiding alone in your house is going to make me feel better, then you are completely wrong." Before I could speak, he interrupted me with more . "Maybe if you were there when I spent my first night alone in this place, we would both be different right now. Maybe if you didn't leave me in the dark, make me wonder if you were dead or alive each morning, maybe then I would be able to handle these nightmares. Did you ever think to yourself that maybe, just maybe, I care about you, Katniss?"

I didn't know how to answer him. I thought about kissing him in that moment.

"I try to help you. I want you to talk to me about what you went through—we went through it together, after all. There's nothing you could say that would drive me away from you, or make me think less of you." He shook his head in between sentences, darting his eyes around the room to blink away the moistness forming on his waterline. "I wish I could have been there for you—"

I cut him off before he could go on, embracing him in a long hug. It was the same kind of hug that we had in the moment I thought he ate the Nightlock berries—one where I felt that if I let go, I could lose him. I gripped onto the back of his shoulders, clutching the linen in between my fingers and memorizing each stitch. The scent of his neck was so familiar, a reminder of both hope and despair. The aroma held me like a baby yet dangled my cradle above the arena. His scent held so many memories yet had so much too offer for the future.

Peeta hugged me tightly. I could feel his labored breathing blow in-and-out against the skin on my shoulder. His muscles relaxed in our embrace.

When we let go, he still kept his arms around me, holding my upper arms gently but firmly. Peeta's eyes pierced my own, looking so serious. "If you don't want to talk, then don't talk. But if you want to stay with me, I mean in this house—together, I want it too."