Ephemeral

Sometimes conversations between friends can be the hardest

I was asleep, which was a miracle after the day, until I woke up to a noise. It sounded like rain hitting the window pane. 

I wanted to go back to sleep, I was tired. But when I tried to go back to sleep, I noticed that the noises followed one another at far too regular intervals.

Someone from outside had to throw something at my window. But why? And why in the middle of the night? 

There wasn't even any sign of dawn in the sky yet, as I realized when I turned to the window.

Maybe someone would have confused my window with Damon's? 

I continued to lie still and hoping the person down there would stop soon. 

But the annoying noise didn't stop after a few more minutes, so I decided to take a look.

The wooden floor was cold under my feet and so rough that I was afraid of driving splinters into the soles of my feet.

As always.

It didn't take long to pad to the window like a little cat. I had the smallest room in the house since father used my old one as an office.

When I opened the window, I was met by a surprisingly cold breeze that blew my hair even messier than it already was from sleeping. 

I looked down one floor at the lawn behind our house and saw Mary waving to me.

Mary Gilbert was my best friend for many years. We used to always play in the forest behind her house and, with the help of Stefan and her brother Joseph, we built a small tree house in an old white oak tree.

At least Mary claims that it was such a tree. She knew a lot about plants.

I couldn't see the look on her face from up here, but I was almost certain it was worried. And angry. She probably knew about my engagement to Robert. 

Such news spread quickly among the founding families of our city. Too fast if you asked me. But no one did.

Not just me. Actually, no woman or girl would be asked for their opinion. Not even on important topics. 

We were there to run the house and look after the children. This had never been the life I had imagined for myself.

I always wanted to travel, explore the world, see what life out there had to offer and write about it. Unfortunately I couldn't write.

But that wasn't the only thing stopping me.

I was trapped here in this small town life. Doomed to spend the rest of my life with a man I will never love.

And as I stood here at the open window and just briefly inhaled the fresh air that was so cool that it hurt my lungs, I realized that I had to get away from here. 

Soon.

"Do you want to look at me from above any longer or do you want to venture down, Skarlett?", Mary shouted up at me.

I remained still as the snow, listening intently for sounds from one of the other rooms. There weren't any.

I couldn't call down and ask my best friend what she wanted from me without risking being heard.

And Mary and I both knew what would happen if we got caught. So I had no other option than to go outside to talk to her.

I managed to reach the back door without being noticed. I didn't expect to be outside for too long, so I didn't take a coat.

I opened the door slowly and carefully, knowing that otherwise it would squeak. She had been doing this for many years.

As I was about to step out of the house, someone spoke behind me.

"Where do you want to go? Meeting your secret boyfriend?", Damon asked. Crap.

I turned to him and noticed he wasn't even wearing a top. He must have heard me and wanted to see where I was trying to steal away.

Always had to know everything. "Go put something on. Nobody wants to see that.", I gave my opinion and grimaced jokingly.

Although it wasn't true, Mary would do anything to see my older brother topless. She had been into him for almost a year, something I could never understand.

He was ten years older than her. Damon thought the same thing.

"Oh. I'm sure the girl standing out there in the meadow would think otherwise. But tell her to stop adoring me. I would never date with someone so young or with a Gilbert."

He knew she was into him. Everyone knew that.

"I do." I mumbled. Then I left the house. I knew Damon wouldn't rat me out. He never did.

When I reached Mary, she was still standing where I had last seen her. In the middle of the lawn and looking up at my room window.

But she turned around when she heard me coming. "Skarlett, there you are. I was expecting the sunrise at any moment, I've been standing here for so long."

It had to be a joke, because there was still no sign of the rising sun in the dark starry sky.

 But that night the sky was particularly cloudless and the almost full moon illuminated the grass and bathed everything in an eerie glow.

"Sorry. I had to argue with Damon. I should tell you that you are far too young for him."

Mary moaned at my words. She was far too embarrassed that he knew she was into him. But I probably would be too.

I liked another boy from our town. He was one of Stefan's best friends and therefore also my age. 

Suddenly Mary hugged me tightly. Oh no, she knew. This news must also have spread quickly.

"Oh Skarlett, I'm so sorry. Now you have to marry that ugly idiot. How could your father? How could he?", she was close to crying.

I didn't want this. Because I didn't want to cry either. Otherwise,  everything would come back, which I had so carefully suppressed.

And besides, I had never been a person who cried a lot, except in front of Stefan. I was often called unemotional, even though that wasn't true.

I just liked to suppress everything and at some point it came crashing down on me again like the worst hailstorm.

I didn't say anything, which Mary took as a very bad sign. "We'll find a way out of this for you."

"That's exactly what Stefan said, but I don't think you can do it.", I shared my opinion.

But Mary had a different opinion. She has always been the more optimistic of the two of us. 

I could never decide whether this good view of life bothered me or not.

"Oh no. Don't be that pessimistic again. I go home now and think about it. Your fine, right? I'll see you tomorrow at church."

I couldn't even say goodbye to her, she was gone too quickly. Her blonde hair glowed in the moonlight as she walked home.

That was out of character for Mary. Normally she would have wanted to comfort me for hours. What was wrong with her?