Something

Ever thought how anything supposed to be? Or feel? Or just...ugh... What was I talking about...? Ahh... Ok, let's slow down a bit and...just go over all that one at a time.

For as long as I remember, everything has some sort of...order, I guess...? Cause, whatever happens, something has caused it, right? That's the easy part. Why? What for? Who? This is where it gets unnecessary complicated...every [Censored...] time...

God's plan, Butterfly effect, "Every action has an opposite reaction", Karma, Consequences...and so on... These are, practically, standard answers for people, who either seek answers to questions that already have an answer, but only want an answer that satisfies their criteria or suits them more or...just got nothing better to do, than...whatever else, but deal with it and move on...

I admit, I dwell on long gone past, ponder about even little inconveniences or just straight up give up. Especially traumas, arguments I lost, unpleasant memories or unsolved problems. Isn't it normal, though...? It's all human nature. Wanting something, despite the fact that it's not what we actually need or looking for. Not entirely, but it's also truth...

We work, the results are different from what we expect. Some may not accept it, but at very least the result shows how hard you worked on it. We fail sometimes too. Yeah, it's awful...but what really pisses me off is that when someone achieved a satisfying or good result, they go crazy and start saying that it's system's fault, they worked hard for it so they deserve the best, or blame every everything and everyone...

For [Censored...]'s sake, these [Censored...]... Everybody knows you worked hard for it or whatevs... You got a good or even a better result than most, don't go being a [Censored...] about it...

Ughh... Sometimes, I go back and about things my mom told me... And most of it starts to look like just a pile of crap, that was peer pressured onto her...and the same was with my dad...my family...

Thank [Censored...] I never was anything like and never will... Ambitions aren't really my forte...sorta. Having them is good, they help you to get through stuff, but being a [Censored...] for them... It's not really worth it.