HEYYYAA PPL,
How are you all doing?
Warning : It’s unfiltered and you may find it boring or cliché af. Read at your own risk xD
I am seriously sorry (utterly sorry) for being MIA. I know it’s wrong on my side to just start writing the journal but not posting the outcomes of it. Some of you had really motivated me and had prayed the best for me. I am thankful to each and every one of you <<<3.
Initially I thought I will write the final note when I will receive my results and will get enrolled in a college but it seems like things didn’t go as planned. So, speaking about my exam it went surprisingly well (I still remember the night before my exam I was crying my guts out fearing what will happen because it was like this is my last chance if I didn’t scored well and didn’t bag a good rank then my future is literally over lol, I am good for nothing. Nope, I am not kidding I was seriously crying like a lunatic even my mother was like go and sleep otherwise you will go mad. The whole night I was twisting and turning my whole body was drenched in sweat, I slept at around 5 o’clock in the morning and wake up at 7 only to feel pukish and having a migraine all of a sudden, I didn’t eat my breakfast and was just fretting over my exam, memorizing everything in my mind, if I can’t remember an answer I will get depressed, me who don’t usually step into mandir and pray I was seriously reciting Hanuman Chalisa with tears rolling down my eyes lol. Now that I think about it it seemed so silly but trust me if anyone said that to me on my exam I will just punch that person and will tell them to fuck off)
So after giving my exam when I exited the exam centre, my father was waiting there for me I was like Papa you know I should cry before every exam because whenever I cry my exam goes really well and he was like don’t jinx it, nazar lag jayegi.
Now comes the result time, actually the main problem is that before the results come out we have estimated our score and mine was exactly the same but the thing is that we were like it’s pretty good score and I might actually bag a seat in top 5 colleges because my teachers also told us that you need to score 80+ and it is guaranteed for the admission in top colleges.
But then comes the result my score was 83.75 and my rank was 3057 that was the most disappointing part. Because of exam’s difficulty level, the cut off has surged way too high and my hopes has been shattered.
A part of me knows that I can do much better like the questions in which I has doubt I didn’t filled them but in which I knew that this might not be an accurate solution but not much time was left so I filled it, if I was more cautious I could have scored much better.
No offence to anyone but the reservation system sucks!!! Like I seriously know that it’s necessary but there should be a slab with people who are well off and people who actually deserve it. The person who ranked 10,000 something was getting into top colleges because of this dammned system, It pisses me off to no extent. Well fretting and fuming over it isn’t going to bring me something fruitful either so let it be the way it is.
Well not trying to be extremely hopeful there are still two lists left (they will be released in late May) so I don’t know what will be the outcome. Let’s hope for the best because I seriously do need to prove to everyone and to myself that I didn’t make a mistake while changing my entire career route, when I was a medical student I had shifted towards Law, which pretty much is considered as a failure by my peers because that’s what people do when they can’t do pretty well in their current field. I want to prove them wrong and want to shut their mouth.
If I didn’t get into NLU then I had a backup college and it’s also good i.e. Llyod Law College, Noida but as they say it hit different when you get the fruit of your hardwork and I want my fruit because I know I had worked hard. However if I didn’t get it maybe I will be disheartened and will even be a living dummy for a while but after few days I will pull myself together and will hustle again, I know it won’t be easy to set your feet in the competitive world but I will try to put my everything into it.
I don’t know why I am feeling so emotional right now, maybe because my periods are about to come in next 2-3 days or because I just had finished an emotional rom-com novel but I am tearing a little, well not to make things awkward and boring. I am just going to leave it here.
Thank You once again for all you support and kindness <<<333
Will definitely try to update after the lists will come out, till then Adios Amigos!!!
XOXO
Vriii
