Whispers Below The Waves

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"Just take slow, deep breaths

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"Just take slow, deep breaths. You've got this, Jenna."

My best friend Kai’s voice sounded distant, muted by the plastic mouthpiece covering her face. Her short black hair fluttered underneath her diving mask as she treaded water effortlessly several feet away from me.

I tried to steady my breathing, to focus on the rhythm of each inhale and exhale rather than on the swells of dark blue water surrounding me. We were a few miles offshore, the boat a tiny speck behind us. Other than that, it was just us and the sea - the vast, bottomless sea that seemed to span forever in all directions.

When I was little, I loved the ocean. Every summer my family would vacation at my grandparents’ beach house, where I spent countless hours splashing in the waves and building sandcastles decorated with seashells on the shore. The sea brought me joy and wonder.

But one day when I was eight years old, I ventured out too far chasing a brightly colored kite when a strong undertow grabbed me and pulled me under. I remember the panicked feeling when my feet lost contact with the sandy bottom, my limbs flailing helplessly against the strong current. My lungs burned for air that wasn’t there as the swells closed over my head. Just as suddenly, the grip released and I found myself back at the surface, sputtering and disoriented but safe.

I had been scared of deep water ever since. For years I avoided the beach, preferring the safety of the pool. But now, at twenty-five years old, I was determined to conquer my fear. With Kai by my side coaxing me forward, I finally felt brave enough to try.

Kai was an experienced scuba diver and promised she would stay right next to me the whole time. We started close to the boat, getting used to breathing through the regulators and equalizing the pressure in our ears. Then slowly but surely Kai led me further out, checking frequently to make sure I was okay.

“You still good?” Kai asked, snapping me back to the present. I realized my breaths were coming faster now, my exhales bubbling up visibly just underneath the surface.

“Yeah,” I lied through my chattering teeth, trying not to glance down into the murky blue void beneath my kicking feet

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“Yeah,” I lied through my chattering teeth, trying not to glance down into the murky blue void beneath my kicking feet. Just knowing all that was below me, so vast and deep I couldn’t see the bottom, made my heart race faster.

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