A Letter To You [Phan]

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Dear Phil,

I don't want to start this in the typical "If you're reading this it's because I'm dead" cliché, but unfortunately, there is no other way to say it. Don't worry though, I'm happy. I'm very happy. I've not been happy for a very long time, but today I feel I may explode from happiness.

I've been depressed, Phil. Very depressed and I'm sorry I never told you. You mean the world to me and I didn't want to see you suffer. I never told you when I was going to the doctors because I was afraid you'd want to come with me. But I'm alright now, and I sincerely hope you are too.

First off, I want to say I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul and I never want you to forget me. I want your memory of me to be eternal, like my love for you always will be. I want you to say hello to my picture every morning and say goodnight before you go to bed. However hard it may be, just remember I will always be saying it back. I want you to be able to smile at the thought of all our happy memories. I don't want you to remember the fights, because in the end our fights got us no where, our love is what kept us alive.

I love your eyes. I love the crystal blue hue they naturally are. And I love the deep sky blue they turn when you cry. But I don't want to see the deep sky blue anymore, Phil. I don't want to see you cry. I want you to get out of bed everyday with a smile stretching from one ear to the other, and a globe of strength in your heart. I want it to be filled with all the love I possess in mine.

I love your laugh. I love the way your tongue sticks out slightly when you can't hold your joy. I want you you to laugh, Phil. I want you to laugh at our memories. Remember the stupid things we did and laugh until you can't stop. Laugh until there is no sound coming out of you. Laugh until your stomach muscles are so tight it hurts to sit up.

Lastly, I want to thank you, Phil. Thank you for being the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for being the support system I needed when I was upset about all the insignificant things I cried over. Thank you for never walking out on me after one of our fights, even though I truly didn't deserve you. Thank you for being gentle and understanding with me when I needed comfort. Thank you for being the only best friend I ever had. Thank you for your love, I don't think you'll ever understand how much I profoundly mean it.

All my love forever,

Dan