the asmodai ↣ style

Chapter Ten

Chapter 10: We're All a Little Gay

Stan was flicking through infomercials and Saturday morning cartoons when Kyle called.

"Hey," he said brightly. "Want to go out?"

Stan developed a horrible, hacking cough. The line was silent until he finished, and then Kyle said, "Damn, man. You still sick from Thursday?"

"No," Stan said quickly. "I mean. Why do you want to hang out?" he asked, careful with his wording.

"Since when do I need a reason?"

"You don't... I was just..."

"Well, if you want specifics, I have absolutely nothing to do and my mom isn't leaving the house until this afternoon. If I don't go out and do something she'll start bitching at me for wasting my free time and sign me up for Hebrew class or some shit like that. So you want to save me from the harpy?"

"So it'd... just be us two then? Why aren't Cartman and Kenny coming?"

"Because Cartman's off on his not-date with Heidi, and Kenny always tries to drag me to Raisins."

"And you... don't like Raisins?" Stan asked.

"No, dude. They fry all their food in pig fat. The place reeks like bacon."

"... Oh."

"So, want to come over?"

"Actually," he said, biting his lip, "I've got some... stuff I can't get out of."

"... That's cool," Kyle said. "I'll catch up with you later."

Stan got off the phone feeling vaguely cheated. Kyle hadn't sounded disappointed at being turned down. Where was the possessiveness? If Kyle had a thing for him, wouldn't he care more about spending time together?

Stan decided he must have been wrong. Kyle didn't like him, and it really was just another case of the town being stupid. But he'd just turned him down less than two minutes ago; he couldn't very well call him back and ask if he wanted to hang out.

He wasn't about to sit around his house and squander his Saturday, though. And Cartman was out, so that just left Kenny.

No one picked up at first, and Stan was just beginning to wonder if the McCormick's owned an answering machine when he heard a click and an unfamiliar voice say "Hello?"

"Um," Stan said. "Is Kenny there?"

"Kenny who?"

Stan gave the receiver a confused look. "What do you mean, Kenny who?"

"Meaning there're more than one Kenny at this residence."

"Since when?"

"Since yesterday. Family reunion."

"Oh."

"So which one do you want?"

"Um... the one that dies all the time?"

"Oh," the voice said. They dropped the phone and stomped off, shouting; a moment later Kenny's familiar, muffled voice greeted him.

"Hey man. What's up?"

"Dude, you're having a family reunion?"

"Nah, not really."

"Huh?"

"That's just what Uncle Ken says whenever he loses his job and moves in for a while to 'get back on his feet.'"

"Oh. That sucks, man."

"It's not so bad. I get to share my bed with my hot older cousin."

"Kenny, God dammit."

"So why're you calling?"