Eight years and still not sober. I'm not glamorizing it, I just find it to be pretty stupid. Like, I tried being clean from SH for years and I keep doing it. Besides, I was going to post about this sometime around this year, today or this month isn't the exact date of when I started doing it because I don't remember when it started, I just know I was ten.
I know I do need help but I don't think it will really do anything because I did this since I was ten and haven't stopped. My family thinks I'm not cvtting but I am. I think my friends know, but I don't want them to get involved with it because I care for them a lot.
I wanted to seek help and I was willing to do that but I had some convincing that it won't work. Besides if I get medication it will fuck my brain up and I don't want that. I don't mutilate my other arm because I want to compare them, yes it's fucking weird but eh.
Still, if this keeps going I think it will go as far as "offing" me-self. But at this point it doesn't really matter anymore.
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