Chapter 1:
You wake from your bed, grab whatever is the nearest snack. Nibbling the morsel with no plate, crumbles fall on moms new wood floor. Morning dew bubbles teeny little blobs all over the gazebo mom and dad anxiously purchased. The lazy evenings they planned for under there, roasting veggie kabobs.
It's early in the morning during July, my stomach sloshes the 5 bottles of water I chugged multiple times throughout the night. I couldn't stop checking my phone every time my eyes fluttered open. No notifications from him, everyone would suspect but me... I'm so pathetic. Wash the pain with a swig (or 10) of dull water. He hasn't seen me since graduation shouldn't he be missing me? Searching for me on social media? Be the first to reach out!?
"It's funny watching you look out the window." Mom enters around the corner wall, exiting the kitchen. "The beautiful princess looked out her window" she tells a tall tale in a British accent. "Forlorn she appear, so messy but sweet."
"What? How am I messy? Oh..." I ask with a mouthful. The littered muffin droplets around my feet have copped me out. "I'll clean that up, sorry."
"I know you will, hun. I do think you look so sad all the time. You're 18 and you need to get out of my house."
"What's the big deal? You and dad can't be empty nesters yet anyway, there's still Kirsten."
"Not in that way, I mean you need to make some friends or join a group and live a little."
My little sister, Kirsten walks in."Staring over ye poo lake? Hah, my sister and her love for our waste."
It's true - well not the part that I like to stare at human waste! That's disgusting! No but, the sewage lagoon does stand just 20 feet behind our humble abode. What is a sewage lagoon, you ask? I'll answer that for you, it's a rural area where all the stuff goes when you flush the toilet - now you fill in the blanks. Yep, I daydream while gazing over at a poo lake... oh my gosh, Kirsten is right - I'm like some kind of poo lake lover!!!
"I keep our home looking like a gem but our backyard view is full of *blender* and *blender*" mom wails. Dad simultaneously and conveniently fires up the blender for their morning smoothies.
Rolling her eyes, Kirsten runs her fingers through her thick bangs to sweep them back. "Putting that gazebo up is the worst financial decision you two will ever make. It tells an embarrassing story that makes my parents look like swamp people with no sense of smell."
"ENOUGH!" Mom demands with wide eyes. "Because, I know you'll buy us a new home when you're successful and rich, Kirsten."
I'm trying my best to find a job, one that I like that is. Oh, yes, so millennial of me - right? Hah, jokes on YOU, I'm Gen-Z, baby.
Wait, Gen-Z is worse? Hey, we aren't that bad. As long as everyone is like me, we'll be fine.
Anyway, I really want a job that I do well, like Kirsten; she's doing so much. She visits seniors in the nursing home and gets paid a conservative salary. The elderly love her and she brings her 100% to whatever she does.
Yep, shes a wonderful person outside the house, but inside she's such a *blender* - you know what I mean."
Dad - "sorry, frozen blueberries are refusing to be chopped!"
Hanging with the old folks isn't all Kirsten does, she's great in digital design and working hard on scholarships, all at 16. No wonder mom is betting on her making this family rich.
Meanwhile, I'm 18 without a clue of what I'm good at. As I think about my future, my bladder screams bloody murder.
Onto a different topic...
Nobody wants to talk about it but everyone knows it.
You dread it's freezing touch on early mornings but once your bottom warms it's seat, it's hard to leave. In the room that keeps every blemish and armpit stain a secret.
The toilet, the potty, a Snow White throne. Nobody wants to talk about it but, anyone in their right mind does most of their thinking on the toilet. AND, we all check to see if a certain someone has texted, right?
Still - nothing from him.
