IDOLS LOVE

Dance Practice

[TAEHYUNG PERSPECTIVE]

I was running late to practice. I ran as fast as possible so I wouldn't get scolded by Jin Hyung. Cars were passing by at normal speed. I was standing in front of the Hybe Building and was about to enter when I heard someone call my name. "TAE!" I heard. I looked to the right and saw Jungkook waving his hand. He came running towards me. I started blushing. This was normal...I never let people call me "Tae," not even the other members call me that. They call me "Taehyung" or "V" But my heart beats for him all the time. At this point, I knew I had feelings for him. I smiled and looked up at him. "I guess we're late together, huh," I said while looking down in embarrassment. He chuckled and opened the door for me. 'What a gentleman' I thought. I smiled and walked inside with him behind me. "So, what's your reason for being late?" he asked while walking next to me. I looked over at him and back to the front. "I-I woke up late," I responded while looking down in embarrassment again. He laughed. "What about you?" I asked while looking at him. He thought for a moment..."I-I honestly forgot we had practice today" he responded while scratching the back of his neck. For some reason, I feel like he's lying. He usually never forgets about practice. I was gonna question him but I decided not to. 

We reached to the practice room and walked inside making everyone look at the door. "You both are late," Namjoon said while checking the clock. "Sorry, Hyung. It's wont happen again!" I said speaking for me and Jungkook. He sighed. We went to our positions and started working on the dance choreography for "black swan." 

~Half an hour later~

We finished with dance practice and everyone was already gone besides me and Jungkook. I looked up and saw him packing his bag. I looked down and back up. "H-hey...Kookie" I said while standing up from sitting on the floor. He looked over and tilted his head. "Yeah? What's up?" he asked. I looked down again and sighed. "I-I was wondering...if you want to hang out tonight? Just me and y-you?" I asked while playing with my fingers. He looked away and continued packing his bag. "Sorry Tae, I can't tonight! Am hanging out with IU" he responded while putting his bag on his shoulder. My eyes widen. 'Oh yeah,' I thought while looking down in sadness. "Maybe next time, Tae," he said while walking out the door. I stared at his disappearing figure. I sighed. 

'Why does he always have to hangout with her? He barely hangs out with me anymore' I thought. 'We used to hang out all the time...what happened to that? Why is he putting her over me? Why is she so special?' I thought to myself. I was lost in my thoughts and not even focusing on the road. I heard a car honk and I fell from the noise. People around me just continued walking. All I could do was cry. Sometimes I would think to myself if he loves her. Does he not notice my feelings for him? 

I stood back up and continued walking to my house with tears running down my face. Once I arrived and threw myself onto the couch and cried myself to sleep. He's been hanging out with her since...I can't even remember! It feels like forever! I sighed and closed my eyes only being able to hear the things around me...I opened my eyes again. I couldn't even fall asleep! My sadness was taking over me. Every time I asked if he wanted to hang out he would always reply with the same answer, "Sorry Tae, I can't tonight! Am hanging out with IU" 

I sighed and decided to turn on a live stream.

"Hi Army," I said talking to the screen. The comments were going by so fast. "You look sad?" I read. I faked a smile. "Oh no! I'm okay! Just tired!" I responded to the comment. "Where's Jungkoo-" I stopped reading the comment. I sighed. "He's hanging out with IU, again," I said while playing with my fingers in my lap and poking myself to stop myself from crying. I kept seeing comments about how Jungkook and IU are so cute together...but I saw some comments of people disagreeing and saying that Jungkook and I are cute together. I chuckled. I waved goodbye and ended the live stream...It's so awkward doing it alone. Usually, Jungkook and I would do a livestream together but now...he's with her. 

(WARNING: C*TTING!)

I stood up and walked over to my room. I took the blade from my drawer and sat down on the floor. I started c*tting my wrists deeply. Tears rolled down my face...but all I could do was cry and c*t. I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Once I stopped and laid down on the cold floor letting the blood drip down my hands onto the floor. I shut my eyes and fell asleep. 

~The Next Day~

I woke up on the cold floor. I picked up the blade and put it away in the drawer. I stood up from the ground and bandaged my wounds. I got a call from Jimin. I answered. "Hello?" I said into the phone. "Taehyung, do you want to come over and have dinner with us? Everyone is coming!" Jimin asked. I smiled. "Sure...I'll be there. Send me the location" I said. I didn't want to be the only one staying behind. "Okay!" Jimin responded and ended the call. I put my phone down on the counter and stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. I sighed. I heard a 'ding' from my phone and looked over at it. It was just the address. I looked back up and rubbed my eyes. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I made sure to hide the bandage. 

I walked out of my house making sure to lock it and started making my way towards the restaurant. Once I arrived I walked inside. "TAEHYUNG, OVER HERE!" I heard someone yelling I looked up and saw Jimin waving his hands. I smiled but then...my smile dropped. I was standing in front of the table. I saw...IU sitting next to Jungkook...again. 

I wanted to cry again. But I held it in this time. 

"Come sit," Jin said while scooting over. I sat down and smiled awkwardly. After the food arrived everyone was laughing...well not me. I found nothing funny...not anymore at least. I looked over and saw Jungkook and IU being so touchy with each other. My heart broke in so many pieces. It felt unconnectable anymore. Is this what sadness feels like? Is this what you would call depression? I closed my eyes and sighed. Just forget about them! It's not that hard. No, it's difficult. I stood up. "Where are you going?" Jungkook asked. I stared at him and smiled. "The bathroom" I replied and walked away towards the restrooms. "Weird. Doesn't he look off to you guys?" J-hope asked. Everyone nodded in response. 

I walked inside the bathroom and immediately started crying. I looked at my arm where the bandage was. I put pressure on it to cause me pain. All I could do was cry and cry. Over and over again. Why is she always here? I started hitting the floor to get my anger out. 

Someone walked in. 

"Tae?" I heard someone say. I looked over towards the door and saw him standing there. "K-kookie?!" I replied while rolling down my sleeve. "What's wrong?" he asked while coming towards me. I backed away. "N-nothing. I'm just tired." I said and stood up while he was on the floor. He sighed. "Tae, please tell me what's wrong. Tell Hyung what's wrong." He said while holding my hands. "Im tired" I replied and took my hands away from his and walked out. 

I left the restaurant and went home. This has been going on for weeks now. Everyone tried to ask me what was wrong. But I would always tell them that I'm tired. 

I got home and didn't even bother to change. I threw myself on the bed and closed my eyes while crying. I cried every night since. 

END OF CHAPTER