What's a girl to do

Chapter 7: The love triangle

Jace was the type of guy who needed someone to make him feel good or better about his self of course I've never thought much about it
"the way he treated girls at school how he would talk about them as if they were an object or a tool you can just use , not only was that something I've noticed but i overlooked it and instead of speaking up about it I completely **  discarded it , he stopped talking to me after we had this big fall out it wasn't major to me but to him it was , all I did was tell him how I feel about the way he treats people but that was my worst mistake because he doesn't take criticism too well

I was out on my jog this was *sunday* morning it was cool crispy , the smell of autumn breeze floating around in the air made my morning so peaceful I felt like I was floating in thin air I looked at the sky , with such amusement where I'm from it's always hot so to feel the breeze on my face was like heaven , I got to the house around 8:20 because I haven't eaten breakfast yet dahlia was cooking pancakes and eggs I rarely use my mother name in a sentence but she deserved it this morning . because we got into last night about my future and plans and who I can , and can not hang out with even though I'm 17 and on my last year of high school but she always said " until you're 18 you will live by my rules and each time it made me so mad ' she never listened to her parents maybe that's why she's so bitter about everything , I keep my journal with me at all times so I can write all the pros and cons of Jace and Ezra and everything they says to me , "was it too late to choose one I wondered , "is this the end for me , "do they hate me I was so Intwined with my thoughts that I didn't think about their feelings

and how choosing one would hurt the other , I also didn't put myself first I always wanted Jace before he became a d••• in our last school he was the # 1 most named player and he had a bad reputation, but I don't know maybe he's really changed and maybe I'm thinking about the old Jace , there's so many things I need to observe about him now before I just give in to him , I don't want a broken heart I've always said the past should stay in the past but for some reason I let him back in from the past , I took my own words for granted because I did the one thing I promised I wouldn't do " and I know this is about to be a mistake but love is about taking risks even if it hurts you , it can either be a lesson or a blessing for me this is definitely is going to be a lesson that I haven't learned 

jace texted me he wanted to have a conversation after completing ditching me that day at school he never showed up " hey **olivia** I know I didn't show up last time something came up and I couldn't make it " not only was it not surprising but I kinda felt sad for a moment then I shook it off because I knew I blew off Ezra that day for him and I know that's why Ezra ignored me but when Jace left me hanging I swore to myself that I wouldn't wanna see him again but there I am , driven by his words and how much I couldn't control or even stop myself from saying no when it comes to both of them , I can't say no it's like I want to but what comes out is yes, Ezra also wanted to meet up today I guess you can say things are getting more & more complicated I didn't know what to say I wanna see Ezra but I also wanna see jace just too see what he wants it's like I'm choosing between cookies but one is bad & moldy and the other one is fresh and smells good

I ended up texting Ezra yes because he was understanding and in touch with his feelings so I felt like if I told him about jace he wouldn't think too much about it or even trip over it because I knew nothing could possibly spark between me and Jace especially not with the way he treated me before it was ridiculous the way I felt about these two it's only men why am I trying so hard for two boys who clearly probably doesn't even want something serious with me , I feel like the more i intwine with them the more heavier things get Ezra is coming over in 5 mins I gotta get ready " he's bringing flowers I hope they smell good I love roses, roses make me feel like I'm on a sunshine field it's makes my soul tingle it was now 4 mins till he gets here and I'm not even dressed I didn't get an outfit ready because it was last minute " I hear someone beeps outside the door I squealed .. but the person I saw was not who I was expecting
, outside my window was Jace and I freaked out because he didn't give me an heads up he was coming or even texted me he was like " hey Olivia come outside I quickly ducked my head and I thought to myself " if he sees no one come out maybe he would leave but he just sat there looking from a distance as if he was waiting for me to step out but I just sat there slowly slide down the wall in fear I didn't want them to find out about each other i wasn't trying to hide it " I was just trying to avoid more trouble but after 5 mins he left and he looked mad he face was red as a tomato I can see him from the view of my window, so many questions went through my head at that moment " did he know I was there " was he going to tell me something " was he stopping by because I didn't text him back

complexed with my own thoughts I forgot that I had plans with Ezra he was outside for 2 minutes calling me but I was in la la land for a minute then things went quiet and next thing I know he was ringing the doorbell which my parents didn't hear because they was with my sisters I was home alone I had to quickly run and put some perfume on because he was already out there I fixed myself up " then I politely opened the door and the first thing he did was give me the tightest and warmest hug I felt safe in his arms " the smell of his ocean breeze cologne sent chills through me it was like a fresh breathe of air hit me finally he took my hand , and led me down the stairs as if I was in some princess fairytale this night was perfect I thought to myself " he opened the car door for me , which was something new to me as he's driving I can feel him staring at me like his presence I was putting on my cherry watermelon chapstick it had the most alluring smell , I looked at him but I know I wasn't supposed to because I **agreeded** to leave him alone but maybe I didn't want too , maybe I just wanted to feel his nice warmth touch against my soft skin for the last time " maybe I wanted to kiss his beautiful red rosy lips for the first time or maybe I wanted to feel what's it's like to be passionately in love with someone " the car ride was over and he took me to this fancy aesthetically pleasant restaurant , with lights on the outside gold railings , gold walls the inside was so big I was stunned at how amazingly beautiful this restaurant was " until I saw Jace it wasn't so beautiful he was there with a girl , I knew he was no good but for some reason I felt uneasy , why was i feeling this way when I got a guy who treats me like a princess a queen like a trophy that he just won , like his #1 girl but I was feeling bothered, not because he was there with another girl but because I " know that I had unresolved feelings for him and I never got through it

I was praying he didn't see me " but by my surprise he did and I couldn't run because I had heels on in my beautiful red strapless dress he approached me and I froze because I was here with Ezra and I felt like all hell was going to break lose he looked at me for 2 mins straight with no words or movement just pure shock I don't know what he saw , but I saw trouble because as I was backing away he starting following me as if he was in a trance , finally Ezra came and that's when my heart was beating out of my chest I mean but how bad can it really be he was with a girl and they were together, Ezra brought me my plate it looked so good I almost fell out that a bit over exaggerated but his eyes was sparkling in the light , when he talked I was so into what he was saying that nothing else was distracting it's now late and he's driving me back home 5 mins into the car ride I get a text from Jace " you looked stunning tonight with a smiley face ☺️" I felt lost for words why is he complimenting me when he has a girl literally right next to him , should I reply " I don't think I should he's someone I don't want to get attached too but somehow I still am and it's driving me crazy I know I can't have both but if I could , that would make thing worse