Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)

Chapter 10

The weeks passed by in a flurry of studying and preparing. There were N.E.W.T.s and meetings with his Head of House to discuss his future. "You've really proved yourself this year," McGonagall said with a smile. "I'm proud of you." All of this activity, all of this worrying, all of it leading to graduation.

And then it was over.

James stood between his proud parents as the camera flashed, smoke wafting, and tried to put on his best smile. Seven years of his life leading up to this one moment, and it was over in the blink of an eye.

Now what?

James shook hands with everyone he came across, their faces all a blur.

"Going into the Auror program? You'll do the Ministry proud. We need more boys like you."

"I'm surprised you agreed to it, Euphemia. It's getting so dangerous."

"That's Lily Evans? The one who won all those awards? She'll be a credit to your bloodline, Fleamont, even if she is Muggleborn."

Lily ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck. "I want to see him," she whispered into his ear, her pointed hat tumbling down her back. "Who knows what's going to happen in the future. We could all be dead this time next year. I want to see him. I need to. Please."

James nodded and she pulled away. He left with his parents, and only looked back once. At some point, Hogwarts had stopped being Hogwarts; now it was just another building, old and dark and fragile.

When he got home, he collapsed on top of his bed and slept for ten hours.

James laid across the sofa in the morning room, his hands on his stomach, and stared blankly up at the ceiling. Now what? Some days, it felt as though the only thing he really cared about, that he looked forward to, was visiting Severus. There were a pile of letters from Remus and Peter left unanswered on his desk. His father kept dropping little hints, "I heard Sirius is doing very well in his training." His mother just looked at him with worry in her eyes. "I've never seen him like this. There must be some cause for this malaise," he heard her whispering to his father.

"It's mere inactivity. He needs something to focus on, a goal," his father insisted.

James had a goal: get Severus out of St Mungo's. If he did then maybe... maybe things would get better. Maybe he could be the person he always thought he was. Maybe he could start feeling like James Potter again.

Maybe Severus would finally forgive him. Maybe...

"Jamie, there is a package for you. It came through the Muggle post," his mother called out as she swept into the room, gingerly holding the brown-wrapped box as if it might explode.

James leapt up and took it from her.

"What is it?" She asked as she watched him tear through the paper, her voice a mixture of confusion and amusement as James pulled out a black metal box with the words WALKMAN stamped on the side.

"Just a Muggle novelty," James said with what he hoped was a casual shrug.

"What does it do?"

"Plays music. I saw it in an advertisement."

"At that... that record store?" Euphemia asked, stumbling over the unfamiliar words.

"Yes, there."

"Hmm," She hummed. She drummed her fingers along the back of the sofa. "I haven't heard you talk about Lily in quite a while. Did you have a falling out?"

"No, we've actually become good friends."

"Once you would have been over the moon at such a prospect," she pointed out.