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"Those pogues didn't touch you, right?" Juliet jumped as she turned toward Rafe; she was still wearing JJ's shirt as her and Sarah's picnic was cut short. Rose needed the golden child, but she couldn't help but still felt bitter about it. Rafe crossed his arms with a visible frown as he glanced at the shirt; it was apparent it didn't belong to her, and her claim of spending time with Kiara meant the boys were around.
"They didn't. Kiara assured me they wouldn't either. I told her and John B about what happened; it was like a weight off my shoulders. I have been so in my head about being broken and ruined that I was scared they would be disgusted, that I was no longer worthy of their time. That no one would ever want to be around me again. But they cared; they didn't turn me away." She spoke with a small smile. Rafe was relieved to see it, even under these circumstances. "It's JJ's shirt, and before you ask, he noticed I wasn't comfortable swimming. I felt dirty, and I've never truly been on good terms with my body." Rafe moved to the blonde and kissed her head as he pulled her into his arms.
She knew he hadn't snorted any coke yet; when he was sober, he tended to melt into her hold like he was trying to merge them into one being. But when high, he was overly protective and often had this crazed look in his eyes.
"I won't go after them this time. But if anything happens, please tell me. Please." Rafe expressed concern. He rubbed her back as she nodded; the two stood there briefly. Affection wasn't new between them, being touch-starved, but she adored these moments of silence. "Shakespeare or Barbie?" Rafe asked softly, making her grin. He always knew how to get her out of her head with poetry and the art of old Barbie movies. It was their thing, something that Sarah or Ward could never take.
"Hmm, hard choice," She teased as she pulled away. "I'm thinking Barbie's Swan Lake." Rafe shook his head in amusement before leaning down and kissing her forehead gently.
"My room?" He asked, and she nodded; she didn't want to be in the living room. It was too open, too exposed. And her room hasn't felt like hers in years. "I bet your pogues wouldn't watch Barbie movies with you." Rafe managed to toss in a jab at her new, somewhat friends.
"Don't tell me you're jealous? Rafe, I would choose you over anyone. And besides, JJ would so watch Barbie." She added with a smirk, and Rafe clenched his jaw. His hatred for JJ was solely because his precious sister once had a crush on the blonde Pogue. The boy would never be worthy of her golden heart, which led to him constantly seeking the boy out and riling him up to fight.
"Shut up." He mumbled, making her laugh, and his anger melted away; he had missed this. He missed their mandatory movie nights and the nights she came to him for comfort while he read her Shakespeare poems. It made him feel like he had a purpose, like he had one person who wasn't constantly disappointed in him.
The blonde girl stopped by her room for a change of clothes and a quick shower; her hair was dry from the deep dive she had taken. She carefully folded JJ's shirt and paused by the mirror; realistically, nothing had psychically changed. She was still Juliet. But she felt wrong; her body wasn't her own anymore. That prick had made her feel weak and had made her feel hopeless. Her fear melted into anger; forget Rafe and JJ; she would beat the shit out of that smug rapist if she saw him again. She wanted him to know the pain she experienced, but she would settle for breaking several bones.
Immediately, thoughts of how to harm him flew into her mind. She still had the pocketknife Rafe gave her; the twisted part of her wanted to carve her name in the rapist's stomach so he would have a permanent mark of her on his body like he left the phantom hands on hers. But then again, Rafe did have a gun-
She quickly shook those thoughts away and fisted her blonde hair; she clutched the strands far too tightly as she tried to slow her breathing. She was pathetic. Was she having a panic attack in the bathroom? All over a single thought? Rafe would never be this weak. Sarah wouldn't be this pathetic. She jerked her hands away with a painful groan and shook the ripped cluster of blonde hair into the garbage. Luckily, it wasn't enough to notice a difference.
After showering and changing into her favorite pajamas, furry pants with little pink cats, and an old shirt of Rafe's, she climbed into his bed as he plugged up his phone. He raised an eyebrow at the sweater as she shoved him so she could get under the covers.
"I was wondering where that shirt went." He motioned to the faded The Smiths t-shirt.
"You were going to toss it, so I stole it." She played it off calmly, but Rafe could read her like a wordless book. It was the last memory she shared with her mother. Juliet wanted to get Rafe something for his birthday, and the angelic sound of her mother's laughter brought her peace.
"I wasn't, actually; you got it for me. I keep everything you get me, even if something no longer fits me." Juliet smiled at her brother and allowed him to pull her against his chest as he played the movie. She snuggled into his side as his fingers tangled in her hair; moments like these reminded her that she would never be alone. Not with her big brother protecting her.
"Do you think we would be this close in every universe?" She whispered as she watched Barbie walk through the woods.
"I hope in every other universe we're twins like we should have been here." She closed her eyes as he placed a gentle kiss on her head. She knew it was cruel, wishing the same, but Sarah and she could never be this close. Not even through trauma bonding. The damage has been done; Sarah has isolated herself and only now has chosen to fix it. Rafe would never do that to her.
"Me too, Rafey." She whispered with teary eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist. She hoped their mom would be proud of them someday. "I know I don't say it as much as I should, but I love you. And I'm beyond thankful I have you as my brother. In the end, it's us against the world. Always has been and always will be. Even if we take different paths, I know it'll always end with us finding each other. I'll always choose you. I'll choose you over Sarah, over the pogues, and always over Dad." She whispered with a sad smile as she heard his breathing falter and his body tremble; he let out a wounded sound and buried his face into her hair.
His one constant was always her. The only reason he hadn't embraced the darkness or overdosed on coke by now was because he made a promise to her and their mother. He would protect Juliet no matter the consequences. He would kill for her, die for her. He would even betray their dad, the father he longed to be loved by, if it meant she would be safe and happy.
